Something in the water
by Marissa
Summary: Hermione appears to have a great marriage to Draco Malfoy, but a poison and someone rising from the dead change the game. HG/DM and HG/SS. Beta reader needed urgently for grammatical errors.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing here, it's all WB and JKR.

Hermione slowly drummed her fingertips against the ceramic of the cup in front of her; her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of her deteriorating marriage, and she pondered her limited choices. Draco wasn't a bad husband, not in the same way her father in law was, but they had drifted so far apart that the idea of even being labelled Mrs Malfoy made her feel uncomfortable.

Mrs Hogg's tearoom was a sanctuary for Hermione. It was the one place she could escape to once a week for contemplation whilst her son spent time with his father. It was a place where she could sit unrecognised and uninterrupted by the wizarding world. A place where she was left alone, and where she was known simply as 'the lady of Bleak Hall'.

She sipped her tea and sighed, glancing around the room she took in each assembled person: an elderly man sat in his usual chair, a mother with her daughter shared toast, the waitress busied herself filling the coffee grinder. Nothing unusual, she noted before turning her attention to a man. At least she thought it to be a man. He drank purposefully from his cup, as if waiting for a predetermined time to arrive and then he could take action. Ever so suddenly he stood up, his coat billowing behind him as he slapped a note on the table and swept from the shop. As she politely paid her bill her inquisitive nature took over, and she enquired as to who the man was. The waitress simply shrugged.

The following week Hermione saw the man again, and again each week after. Never clearly enough to identify, but enough for him to become another fantasy on her burgeoning mental library. She noted his slender fingers, dark hair, slender build and his hostile demeanour. Each feature helped flesh out the character that played in her mind whilst she was alone. He was not unkind but was reticent to show emotion, he very much was in control.

After weeks of observing, the young witch was surprised when one visit he was absent. She sat with her slice of Victoria sponge and tea, wondering if she were late. Impossible, her life was based around pattern and routine. Reluctantly, she accepted that whatever his business had been, his time in Gisburn had drawn to an end, and she would have to mark his character as complete. Sighing, she began to slowly eat the cake and sip her tea, knowing that within the hour she'd be returning home to reality.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione swept into Bleak Hall and was met by a naked boy running at her.

"Mummy!" The child giggled as he was launched into the air. Draco kept back, but watched the exchange between mother and son uneasily. His wife's smile lit up her face and it remained as she looked at him. However, it never quite reached her eyes. Putting the boy down she walked towards him and kissed him gently on his cheek before brushing past.

"'Moine, you ok?" he asked gently. She looked back and nodded slightly before running off with their child.

####

After putting her son to bed, Hermione ventured to her husband's study. He was sat with his blonde locks falling around his face, his expression was thoughtful. Their son looked do much like him that it pained her.

She sat on the edge of the desk watching him work. He seemed almost oblivious to her presence, it was a feeling she'd grown accustomed to since she'd given birth. She slept next to him every night, and yet he rarely touched her. They kissed, but it was almost always chaste and they held each other, but she'd felt more intimacy holding Ron or Harry. Wordlessly she stood and slipped from the room, before sliding alone into bed and falling into an uneasy sleep.

####

Abruptly, she woke to the crying of her son. Draco was sleeping peacefully next to her and was oblivious. Hermione rose and went to settle the child before retuning to bed. She debated a variety of actions to arouse her spouse, but knew that some may result in a severe hexing rather than the intimacy she craved. She reached out, a simple gesture, but found that he had wrapped the sheets under him, stopping any advances she made.

Her mind wandered through the catalogue of fantasies she'd amassed. After a few minutes she settled on the one she wanted. Selecting the dark, tall man from the cafe. He seemed familiar, a little like the long dead potions professor. She created a mental image of this stranger, who had her in a room and was poised to take her to new heights of arousal. Sighing she allowed the fantasy to play through before falling into a peaceful slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermoine apperated to the receiving hall of Bleak Hall, and stood for a minute before walking into her home. She looked dishevelled, and had a pounding headache that made her feel as if a herd of hippogriffs had just trampled her. After straightening her skirt and attempting to put herself in order she swung open the door.

Whilst the house was called Bleak Hall it was not especially grand. She would have refused to inhabit a great pile, even if one had been offered. This was a former Black family estate, inherited through Narcissa. It was, whilst large, not imposing or excessive. The house was Victorian, and suited the Malfoy's needs well. It accommodated a laboratory and study each for both Draco and Hermione, a lounge, playroom, library (naturally stocked with an array of both Muggle and magical texts), kitchen, several bedrooms and as expected a dungeon. She had decorated it avoiding either of their house colours as it saved arguments, so a neutral pallet prevailed.

Hermione heard the giggles of Artemis and smiled. Using the voices as a guide she followed them to the playroom. At first glance she couldn't see her son, however after a moment of pausing by the doorway she was nearly floored by the child. He was flying rather haphazardly around the room on a miniature broomstick. Frowning at Draco with disapproval she plopped into the sofa, and taking her wand she pulled the child back to earth.

"Mummy! No! Artie flying!" came a horrified response.

"Artemis, no. It's not safe to fly inside. Daddy is naughty for letting you." Draco came and sat in the chair opposite.

"Daddy outside," was the child's answer to the barrier his mother provided.

"It's raining now, maybe tomorrow." Draco smiled subtly at his wife, and she slowly mirrored it. Artemis ran off and found a half eaten chocolate frog hidden under one of the curtains. "Bad day?"

"Not really, just long and frustrating. You'd have thought that the Ministry would have been sorted by now, but no it's an utter disaster area. Coherent thinking has obviously... Sorry, I'm just tired."

He knelt in front of her and gently kissed her cheek. She looked at him properly for the first time in weeks. His hair was in disarray after the afternoon playing, his blue eyes looked haunted and distant, and his body was lean but muscular. As her eyes travelled down she focussed on the silvery scar that marred the pale skin of his arm. Her hand reached out and she trailed her fingers over the edge of the skull and snake. He flinched still traumatised by the guilt of what he nearly became; what he did become. She placed her lips on the branding and kissed, as if absolving him of his sins. She knew as much as he revealed, which was a great deal after his almost total breakdown in front of herself, Harry and Ron after the end of the war.

"Go have a bath" he suggested, and helped her to her feet.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening, once the house was still, Hermione shuffled closer to Draco and into his waiting embrace. Her ear rested against his firm chest as he held her close, his heartbeat's rhythm calming her thoughts. She wrapped a leg over his and began lightly drawing circles over his stomach. His body tensed at her feather touch, and as she slowly moved her fingers down like lightning he grabbed her hand.

"What's the matter?" he asked her, still holding her hand gently but firmly.

"Nothing," came her simple reply, as her brows knitted together in thought. "Why?"

"You're just... I'm not used to this." She lifted her head to him and watched for a change in his passive expression.

"Fine, I'll not bother." She knew her temper was getting the better of her, but she longed for him to take action and show he cared. That he wanted her. She flipped herself over on to her side, and without a single sound he did the same. Hermione lay listening, soon the sound of his snoring filled their room. Silently tears began falling down her cheeks. Her heart longed for his comfort, her body ached for his touch, but her soul knew he would never complete her.

####

The rest of Hermione's week flashed by in a never ending cycle of work, Artemis and sleep. She spoke to Draco rarely, and found his conversation to be less than stimulating when she did.

Soon it was Saturday morning. It couldn't have been a nicer day, the sun shone through the amber and russet leaves that still decorated the trees, sending a beautiful glow to the ground below and the air was crisp and fresh. Hermione felt invigorated, and clutching her book she set off to the cafe. She had planned her morning methodically, first it was coffee and a lovely read, followed by a walk and then back home for lunch.

Choosing to sit outside, she watched the steam gently rise from the freshly brewed coffee. Leaning back she held the cup in one hand and balanced the book in the other. The words leapt from the page and wove themselves into a New York street with yellow taxis flying past and women who had just stepped out of Vogue. Whilst this was not Hermione's usual choice of literature, it suited her recent situation perfectly, characters in destitute relationships and façades; an easy, if not poignant, read.

A shadow cast over her, "may I sit Mrs Malfoy?"


	5. Chapter 5

The gentleman barely hesitated before depositing himself in the seat opposite Hermione. She looked at him, eyebrows raised in question and waited.

The man equally did not wait for an invitation to speak before launching into discourse, "I'm sorry to intrude on your private time, Mrs Malfoy. However this of the utmost importance, and it simply could not wait."

Hermione took in the man's appearance, obviously blending with muggles was not usual for him as was indicated by his clothing; a shirt and trousers with a bowler hat were very much out of place in rural Lancashire. Aside from his clothing he was an unremarkable man. "I am Alan Collins, Senior Auror.

"Mrs Malfoy, the ministry requires you to begin work immediately on a highly sensitive matter. My superior's have informed me that should you agree to commence on this project, you will be required to not discuss this with anyone. It of course falls under your usual non disclosure."

"Sir, if you would please stop flapping and get to the bloody point." Hermione sipped her drink.

"Ah, right." The man calmed himself. "The project and all the information is on this document, it has been warded to you and contains the usual Ministry protocols."

"Fine, now if you don't mind I will peruse this at my leisure. I will inform the Ministry of my decision by owl later on." She was not going to have her small bit of respite from Ministerial demands, family and friends encroached upon by yet more work.

"Ah, you see Mrs Malfoy that is not possible, this is highly sensitive."

"So sensitive that I cannot send my response by Owl or Floo? I find that hard to believe."

"You will understand when you read the message; I will meet you again in one hour to deliver your response." Collins stood and with a tip of his hat he walked off. Hermione was stunned at the method that this auror had chosen to deliver his message. She debated ignoring it and allowing him to turn up with her being no better informed. However her curiosity was piqued, and her coffee was now cold. Leaving her payment on the table she ventured off to find a private spot in which to read unobserved by anyone.

####

_From the desk of the Minister of Magic, Mr Percy Weasley._

_Mrs Malfoy,_

_There has been a mysterious poison that has infiltrated the water supplies of some wizarding communities across Asia, Australasia and parts of Southern America. This poison is of unknown origin; our knowledge of it is limited, however we are aware that it strips the magical ability of some. We have been able to procure a sample of contaminated water, and as you specialise in the field of potions applications you are needed to work on this project. _

_Due to the sensitive nature of this matter it is to remain confidential. Others are also involved in the research, however it is imperative that everything remains anonymous. This is in order to protect the wizarding population of Great Britain._

_Should you accept this role you will be required to maintain appearances at the Ministry regarding your present role. Your superiors will be advised that work for you must be kept to a minimum and will be expected to work on this in addition. Should you accept, further instructions will be given to you._

_This can be discussed with no-one, Mrs Malfoy. Auror Collins will return to me with your answer._

_Yours_

_P Weasley_

####

Hermione knew what her answer would be; it was a puzzle just waiting for her to crack. It would make a change from the drudgery that her work seemed to have become. After all the request had come from the Minister himself.


	6. Chapter 6

The auror had taken her word that she would begin to work on this secret project, and had handed her a parcel containing a bottle of clear, colourless liquid. She was also given instructions to create a counter reagent, a vaccine of sorts that could be distributed easily and effectively.

Hermione had then faded back into her life; she continued her work, mothered her son and became the same wife she was before. Her reports on the poisoned water were collected weekly, and whilst she had made some progress in the month she'd had sample, identifying a few elements of it, she was no closer to finding the antidote. In fact she doubted that one could be created.

Sitting one night by the fire reading her book she looked down at the ring finger of her left hand. There was the total absence of a wedding ring, she hadn't worn it for so long she could barely recollect what it looked like. Her excuse was that it potentially could interfere with the ingredients in her potion mixing, but in reality she didn't feel like wearing it any longer. Draco didn't really wear his either, his excuse was that he could lose a finger whilst flying, but she wasn't convinced that his heart was hers any more. She didn't really believe he'd have an affair, she just sort of wished he would. It would be easier on her if he did, she'd understand his coolness towards her.

She had tried again with him earlier in the week. Kissing him as if her life depended on it, deepening the kiss as much as she could. She had him pinned to the bed, and despite longing to feel some stirring in his groin or some element of passion she ended up standing up and brushing herself off, feeling wholly unsatisfied and rejected.

At this moment he had gone to bed tired, leaving her alone with nothing but her thoughts. She retreated into literature, and to her own world of fantasy. She had just completed reading a novella about a woman who was swept off her feet by a knight in shining armour. She longed for this, to be in demand and wanted by someone, anyone, who appreciated her mind, stood up to her and fought back rather than acquiescing. Someone who would take her passionately and make her feel.

To feel. She longed to feel something...


	7. Chapter 7

A hurt, angry and frustrated Hermione sat alone on her bed waiting for something, anything to happen. Her work with the poison had hit a brick wall, and since the Ministry were refusing her request for the identities of the other researchers she had no-one to bounce ideas off or to talk over reference material with. She longed to be back at school with the expert guidance of her teachers and the insurmountable library that it held. Not that Hogwarts's staff would be unwelcoming, nor that they would deny her access to the library, but the one member of staff that would be ideal to help wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere, and it was her fault. She could have saved him, but no she just stood there gawping and fearful. His death was on her hands.

The torment that was Severus Snape's death was just the tip of the iceberg that threatened to engulf her in depression. Her heart ached for companionship, for love and passion. Not that she believed in flowers and chocolate and sunset picnics, but she longed for someone to grab her, seize her and take her, to dominate her for once and to allow her to relinquish control.

Her thigh was bare and milky against the dark emerald of the sheets and it called to her.

"Accio," she whispered looking directly at the glinting silver on Draco's dresser. Silently the razor flew through the air and landed next to her. Picking it up and testing the weight in her hand she slowly exposed the blade and held it up to the late evening light. The edge sharpened by magic twinkled and shone calling to her, to her flesh, unblemished and clean. Shakily she drew a deep breath visualising the pattern she could make in deep Gryffindor blood.

Calming herself, she placed the blade away and blinked back tears. She was Hermione Granger, _Hermione Malfoy_ she corrected. A Gryffindor who fought against Voldemort, the most evil wizard to grace the Earth, and she helped secure a victory for the light. She was a powerful witch in her own right, and could count numerous of the most powerful witches and wizards of the age as her friends. However, despite these friendships she was often not amongst these friends and, save from the odd owl, she was isolated from them. Her intellect was challenged, but restrained to the confines of her work, which usually did not come close to sating her thirst for knowledge. She had a relationship that seemed to be falling down around her; one that she had grown tired of defending. One that left her unfulfilled and numb.

Her eyes flicked back to the blade next to her and she sighed. She wanted to feel, would that help her? Would the cool metal bite her skin, tearing it and releasing her from the torment? Fighting back tears she grabbed the razor and ran to the dresser slamming the sliver down before retreating to the covers of the bed to stifle her tears and allow her to regain her composure.

Hermione pulled herself together and retreated to the sanctuary of her lab to continue working on the poison. She sat for a while pouring over her notes trying to spot something that would indicate a reaction, a marker, anything. In frustration she slammed her hand down and made several bottles on her desk judder before she placed her head on the desk. '_Think Hermione. Think.' _Thoughts careened around in her head. _'Where do you go when you've a problem to be solved?' _Her head snapped up_. 'Research. Books. Which texts though? Your's haven't helped you. Draco had an old copy of Unusual Elementals which may help you find out something, but where is it? Not the library. His lab!'_

Jumping up from her stool, she took off through the house to her husband's sanctuary. Their joint love of combining volatile elements was what had drawn them to each other, and, if she was being honest with herself, it did illustrate their early relationship quite well. His laboratory was warded, however she knew her husband well enough to get through the password, and the others had been keyed to her anyway so that in an emergency she could gain access. His lab differed from hers minimally, his bookshelf was much lighter than hers, but he had the advantage of being closer to the library, something she was convinced he'd done on purpose.

Scanning the shelves she looked for the text she needed. Her eyes were however drawn to the desk. There were photographs of their wedding, a picture of Artemis playing with muggle toy cars, a picture of him with his parents, and one of a young Draco flying with Professor Snape. The picture caused a tug on her heart that brought back all the memories of him.

'_Last people to see him alive'_ the Ministry said, '_where's the body? We can see the blood, but where's the body? Why didn't you try to save him, __**if**_ _you thought he was on the right side?_' Each of the questions the auror spat at her made her feel like she'd killed the man. Draco never blamed her, neither did any of the Order, but she still blamed herself. She still had the nightmares where he accused her of murdering him. She looked determinedly at the wedding picture again, Draco's hair fluttering in the wind, hers straightened and coerced into submission, and therefore defying the breeze. They were smiling at each other and so happy.

Looking back to the shelves she quickly found the text and as she plucked it from it's place it revealed a magazine. She knew she shouldn't touch it, but intrigue got the better of her as it always tended to and she pulled it out to look at what he'd felt the need to hide. Looking at it made her thump down onto his chair. _PlayWizard_, the cover proudly declared, her eyes scanned the cover. It was a well used magazine, the binding had been spellotaped and the corners were dog-eared. She opened it to find the pages that seemed most viewed, pictures of naked women cheekily winking at the camera were on most pages but those favoured by her husband were startling. Hermione never considered herself a prude, but whilst she was inexperienced with men, having only slept with Draco, she had read and considered many sexual scenarios, but these images stunned her. The most viewed pictures were of two women, kissing, touching, pleasuring each other using fingers, mouths and, the surprising part, inserting lit candles into each other. Ignoring the pornographic element, Hermione studied the women that he obviously found a turn on; barely breasted, sleek blonds that obviously had never given birth and were in no way at all like her. She felt insulted, she wasn't his type, she didn't turn him on any more. Did she ever?

Slamming the magazine shut, she hastily shoved it back on the shelf, and then taking the book she scampered back to her lab before the tears overcame her.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione plastered a smile on her face and took a deep breath as she approached her front door. She was already having a bad day, and now she needed to deal with her parents with a smile and an 'everything is perfect' approach.

She knew exactly how the day would go. Draco would, as usual, sit engrossed in a book whilst she ran around playing with Artemis and pleasing her parents, her father would make snide remarks about his absorption, and would say that she was as bad. Her mother would critique her house keeping, and at some point there was bound to be a comment about how it would be lovely for them to have another child.

Hermione had let Draco take the early morning shift with her son, and had then allowed him to retire. She had gone past the door to their bedroom whilst collecting a toy that was wanted and had seen him. He'd failed to shut the door entirely and was sprawled on the bed looking at floating images of witches in a variety of positions, doing a range of wanton tasks to wizards. He had been vigorously pumping his fist around his cock, staring at the images that were before him. She'd looked down at herself dressed simply in jeans and jumper and thought through her options of trying to lure her husband back into wanting her.

####

Opening the door, she grinned at her father and gave him a hug, welcoming him in. Draco and Artemis were heading towards them, her son shouting and running in order to get a cuddle from his grandparents. Turning around she walked past her husband placed a tiny kiss on his cheek and then went to prepare drinks. As she boiled the water and organised the tea and coffee pots she grabbed her wine bottle and took a long gulp from it. She had been drinking like this increasingly, it numbed her pain. Once the drinks were ready she braced herself and then ventured towards the others.

As Hermione had predicted the day was pleasant though emotionally draining. Her father had made the usual jibes about Draco, who she couldn't be bothered to defend, and he also remarked on her slipping into a book whilst Artemis played independently on the floor, not in the slightest bit concerned with anything other than his toy cars.

Once they'd left with the parting remark of "it would be lovely if Artemis had a brother or sister to play with instead of being alone", Draco put Artemis to bed. She took this as an opportunity and finished off the wine, before beginning on some dreadful spirit she'd found in the cupboard. When Draco came down he grumbled something at her that she didn't quite catch and she couldn't decide whether to ask or to ignore him.

"I'm going to go out for a walk, clear my head."

"Good idea, it might sober you up too," he snarled.

Ignoring his jibe, she asked, "will you be alright with Artie?" He nodded and she left without saying another word.

Hermione walked and walked until she found a bench, she sat slumped over debating her options. She had no-one to talk to. Ginny would tell Harry, who would try to intervene, which could result in any number of curses or hexes being thrown. Ron really wasn't an option, he'd possibly take it as an excuse to try to jump into her knickers. Then who was there? Parvati? Lavender? No chance. Saira from work? No, too loved up and innocent. Bobbie, also from work? No, she had to just deal with it herself.

Rain began to fall, a water repellent charm was in order, but not really appropriate to do in a muggle area, even a quiet one. She could apperate home, but he'd be there. The house in Spinners End was an option, Draco had inherited it from Snape but it was never used. Hermione wanted to rent it out but Draco wouldn't hear of it. She knew she could go there and be alone to compose herself and come up with a plan, with a pop she was gone.

The house in Spinners End was in a terrace, it was simple, conventional and very muggle. Hermione assumed that the house had been Snape's fathers, his mother was probably disowned when she made her choice of partner. Hermione often thought that if she'd just been some muggle-born Gryffindor Draco would have been removed from the Malfoy family tree, as it was being friends with Harry Potter and helping to depose the Dark Lord made her rise in Malfoy estimation.

She felt the wards acquiesce to her presence as she entered and she relaxed. Knowing now that at least she had a safe haven to retreat to whenever she couldn't face Draco. Being Snape's old home also had the advantage of a lab, so she could escape here to work as well. The room was dark, though the smell of a recently burning fire was permeating the air along with a spicy herbal scent. A sly thought jumped in 'what about if this is his love nest for whatever bint he's shagging?' Dismissing this idea almost as quickly as it appeared, she began to look around in the dim light. She had barely moved from the door when she felt a hand grab her across her mouth and a wand press into her neck.


	9. Chapter 9

Hermione stood frozen, feeling the wand pressing firmly to her throat and the hard body holding her; her mind raced as she tried to process the situation. Who was this? Her options were limited to her in laws and her husband, it wasn't Draco, she'd recognise his scent and feel easily, the body was most definitely male so there was only one choice.

"Do not scream," the person stated as he moved the hand from her mouth down to restrain her arms.

Not missing a beat she instantly hissed, "Lucius, get off me!" The wand didn't budge and neither did the arm that was restraining her. Her captor moved subtly and she could feel his breath tickling her neck. "Lucius, it's Hermione, now I don't give a damn what illicit activity you are doing here, I'll just leave and forget you were here."

"Mrs Malfoy, as much as I am sure that Lucius would appreciate such a gesture, I however do not." Hermione's head spun, that voice was one she only heard at night. She was sure she was hallucinating, she had to be. "I will release you, once you are seated." The body pushed her towards the old settee and then forced her to sit, the wand didn't budge from her neck but she was able to slip her arm into her sleeve to reach her own, or at least she would have been able to had it been there. Panic overcame her and her breathing became shallow and rapid. "Do calm down. You are perfectly safe I just don't want hexing into oblivion."

"Who the fuck are you?" she breathed, trying to compose herself.

"My, my, I would have thought that your dazzling intellect would have worked that out." The voice behind her drawled. "Come now Mrs Malfoy, do not allow Gryffindor's finest witch of the age reputation to be in vain."

"No, you can't be. You must be some sick, twisted bastard to do this..." A laugh echoed around the room. Tears pricked at her eyes and she felt the wand relax slightly.

"Quite probably I am those things and more besides." The wand's pressure decreased slightly as the man moved, the room became brighter as candles began to flicker from the sconces. She trained her eyes on the floor and took deep meditative breaths. "Greasy git, bat, vampire... Death Eater." She could now see black dragon hide boots in front of her, reluctantly she drew her eyes up the body, black trousers, black tailored robes, her lip began to tremble and the tears came closer spilling over. Long, pale white fingers, a slender frame, high collar, pointed chin, a sneer, closing her eyes she daren't look any further.

"Why would you do this? The p..poor man has been d..dead 10 years, let him be. Let me be!"

"And prey tell, how do think this look could be achieved?"

"P..polyjuice potion. Just stop trying to say things he'd say. Please, whoever you are just take what you want and let me leave." The tears were now tumbling across her cheeks, she'd felt enough heartache today and the alcohol she'd consumed wasn't helping. The wand dropped as her hands flew to cover her face and her shoulders began shaking.

The man crouched down, looking intently at her face, "Miss Granger, let me assure you that I am indeed myself and not some imposter." The calm coolness in his voice struck her heard and she stared wide eyed at him through her fingers.

"Prove it!" her voice trembled as she looked straight into his pitch black eyes.

"My 'last moments' were spent with Potter, Weasley and yourself. I offered Potter my memories of his mother. Satisfied?" he spat. Anger bubbled in her, those memories had been used to exonerate him within the Wizengamot but no-one knew that she and Ron had also been present during Snape's last moments. "You transfigured the flask; Potter was too brain dead to do anything."

She snapped, ignoring every ounce of common sense that she possessed she flew at him, sending a fist flying at his nose and connecting with a sickening crunch. This was followed by a flurry of other punches that had varying degrees of success.

"You are supposed to be fucking dead. You utter shit." Her rant began with venom but quickly dissipated into floods of tears and her stream of profanity dwindled to a whimper. "You're dead... dead!"

Snape remained kneeling, blood pouring from his nose and bruises blossoming across his face, taking his wand he began the healing process on himself. He managed to completely ignore the hysterical witch sat opposite. Once complete he sat down on the chair and watched her attempt to compose herself, "when you are quite finished."

Hermione had closed in on herself and had buried her head in her hands, as she began to regain her composure she began hiccoughing and slowly looked at him with bloodshot eyes. "S... sorry, sir. I think I'm..." her stomach jolted and she proceeded to rid herself of her lunch and the wine she'd imbibed earlier all over the floor and his boots. With a look of disgust he used a charm to clean the floor and then conjured her a glass of water. "Sorry."

"If I'd known meeting you again would have had this effect I'd have put it off even longer." His tone was scathing even though the edges of his mouth were twitching. "I apologise for the welcome Mrs Malfoy, I was not expecting anyone to arrive and as you can imagine I didn't want to be disturbed."

"Don't you mean found out?" she muttered under her breath taking a drink of the water.

"As you say 'found out'. I imagine as usual you'll have a lot of questions, however allow me to ask the first: what are you doing in my house?"

She tilted her chin defiantly, "it's _**Draco's**_ house, he inherited it and as his _**wife**_ I was checking to ensure it was safe."

"As you say it is Draco's house after my demise, which I do believe we have established has not yet occurred. Whilst I am able to agree that as his wife you are entitled to frequent this house, I am at a loss as to why you would be doing so at this hour stinking of alcohol and obviously not of sound mind."

"I'm not discussing that with you."

"Indulge me," he'd leant forward and offered her a small vial. "Sobering potion, my own brew of course, effective and in your present state, beneficial."

She thanked him, taking the proffered medicine, "I am not going to discuss my private life with a man I saw die and then who materialises in front of me 10 years after the fact."

"Fair enough, well then let the deluge commence," a smirk played on his lips as he watched her take the potion and it begin to have an effect.

Squinting through the fog that was clearing slowly, she began, "the last time I saw you that bloody snake had torn into your throat, you were dead, why else would you give Harry those memories, how did you survive?"

"In answer to your main question, all good spies have a plan should their cover be blown. Any spy worth his salt, even in the muggle world, would carry suicide pills, or in my case specific anti venom, blood replenishing potion and draught of the living dead. The aims and effects being..."

"That the anti venom would allow healing to commence, the blood replenishing potion would restore blood volume and would help the healing and the draught would mimic death sufficiently well that anyone would believe that you had died, giving the body chance to heal and allow you to await help." Hermione opened her eyes and looked at her former professor, who had a smirk playing on his lips and his head inclined slightly.

"You are a know-it-all for a reason. Precisely, I'd managed to create several false teeth that housed desiccated versions and all I had to do was crack each tooth." Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise and admiration.

"A muggle concept, ingenious."

"I am a half blood Mrs Malfoy, a fact I do believe you to already aware of. I was found by your father in law, who was being a sycophantic worm wanting to see if he was further required by the Dark Lord," Hermione snorted. "He took my body to the mansion where he found the antidote and revived me, healing my wounds as was necessary. As to bestowing my memories on Potter, he needed to know, I had to show him to make him believe."

"But why have you been in hiding?"

"It took a long while for my body to heal and by that point I was posthumously on trial for my crimes, Potter was my sole defence and it was advantageous to utilise him without needing to expose myself."

"He fought so hard for you; he even named one of his sons after you and Dumbledore."

"Are you expecting me to be honoured?" his eyes had narrowed at her and were flickering dangerously.

"I thought you might appreciate the lengths that he went to in order to clear your name and get your bloody portrait on the wall of the Headteacher's office at Hogwarts." Hermione met his gaze and inclined her head.

"I couldn't care less what the world thinks of me, I, by all rights, should be dead; I am not a nice person Mrs Malfoy don't get me confused with a glorified romanticised caricature."

"You are a hero, I know that you did some awful things but it was vital for your job and survival, it doesn't change who you are!"

"But how do you know what I did? What I am? What depths I sunk to? You have thought me dead for 10 years, a misconception I have actively encouraged especially within your family."

"You can't change my opinion of you; you kept me and my friends safe for years, surely that alone is worth my admiration."

"I am a liar and a, how did you phrase it, 'sick and twisted bastard'. I am a true Slytherin, one who will do anything to meet my goals." Hermione began to open her mouth in protest. "Before you continue your justifications of my actions..."

Her voice dropped to barely a whisper, "you said Lucius saved you, then they know you're ok. Draco knows you're ok?"

"Of course, I witnessed the hours he spent mooning over you after the final battle, I am the damned boys godfather. Suffice it to say that I was on the liaison committee between Draco and Lucius when your husband decided to make you his wife. I attended your wedding; your son's naming ceremony all without your knowledge, your husband and in-laws have known that I am very much alive and yet they have not revealed that to you on my instructions. Every night Draco held you knowing your guilt at my demise and yet he kept my secret. You were never to find out I'm alive Mrs Malfoy."

"Will you stop calling me Mrs Malfoy!" she shouted before breaking down into a fresh stream of tears. Snape tilted his head in question but said nothing. She went quiet again, "I had nightmares for years, haunted by your death and that I couldn't save you, all my knowledge was useless, you died." A fresh onslaught of tears began to fall from her eyes. "This is too much, I can't... I came here to be _**alone**_."

Hermione conjured a bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses, a drink was most definitely called for.


	10. Chapter 10

Authors note: Having read several comments over the web that fanfiction writing is for the un-original, worthless writer who is a sycophant to fame and glory, I feel that this is an unappreciated art form that should be celebrated. A great deal of time and effort goes into my writing (and I am not alone in this) and whilst I do utilise the realm of someone else's imagination I endeavour to craft my own niche within their world and use their character in a different way, extending their work. That said I do not own any of the characters, places or items that are used within this story nor am I making any money what so ever from this. I simply hope that one day I could write something original that someone somewhere will write fanfiction about.

These chapters have been hard to write in order to try to remain true to the characters, please let me know what you think.

Hermione grabbed the bottle and poured herself three fingers of whiskey and then proceeded to knock the amber liquid back dropping the glass to the table and leaning back in the chair her eyes closing as the burning sensation slowly subsided.

"I do believe that my sobering potion was slightly wasted on someone hell bent on spending the evening in a drunken stupor." He stood shrugged himself out of his robe and then sat back down, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"If you were me you'd be spending your life in an alcohol haze too." Hermione opened her eyes and watched the man before her.

"Oh dear, poor _Mrs Malfoy_, your life is so hard isn't it? A husband who adores you, a lovely son, more money than God, an exemplary career, fame, prestigious friends, tell me why you feel so badly done to by the world. Tell me what you have to complain about, after all my life is so utterly perfect." Her eyes narrowed at him causing him to smirk as he poured himself a drink and refilled her glass.

"As I said I want to be alone, I never asked you here."

"And I didn't invite you into my home. You have no reason to be miserable..."

"What the Hell would you know? You've been dead ten years!" Hermione grabbed at her glass as her anger flared and threw it across the room.

"Will you restrain yourself? Or should I do it for you?" Snape's eyes flashed dangerously as he toyed with his wand.

"Fuck you," she mumbled under her breath. "Professor, can I just drink and then pass out because today has been shit and it doesn't look like it's going to get better?"

"Don't mind me," he sat and sipped again at his glass. Hermione paused and then transfigured another glass which he promptly filled. Flicking his hand music filled the air, Hermione stared at her former professor as Stevie Nicks sang.

'_Thunder only happens when it's raining_

'_Players only love you when they're playing...'_

"I love this song," she smiled. Drinking at a more relaxed pace she regarded Snape, he looked different from how she'd remembered him and yet he looked exactly the same. His hair was slightly silvered at the temples, slightly longer, now he'd removed his robes he looked younger, sat wearing trousers and a long sleeved crew neck, she could see the scars on his neck glistening and the relaxed expression he wore.

The music continued with Gerry Rafferty, Elvis, The Eagles, David Bowie and Queen. Hermione soon forgot who she was with and began singing quietly to the music. It was so easy to forget that Snape was a half-blood and that the house was in a muggle area of Manchester. She had a thousand questions about his past just as she had about the Malfoys once upon a time, but she had the knowledge Harry had given to the world about his loyalties and history which posed as many questions as it provided answers for.

"May I ask a question Mrs Malfoy?" his voice dragged her from her thoughts and she snapped to attention as she would have done in his classroom. "Why are you here?"

His question, whilst simple and reasonable enough, was like a punch to the gut. He'd been hospitable to her, allowing her to stay when he could have asked her to leave, he'd explained his survival and his disappearance, yet she didn't feel comfortable speaking with him.

A simple, brief response was required, "I needed some time to myself. Please call me Hermione or Miss Granger anything but Malfoy, please."

His eyebrow rose and he inclined his head in acceptance, "very well, Hermione. In that case please do the same and call me Severus. I have not been a professor for some time and I never plan on becoming one again." His lips twitched in what may have been a smile, "why come here for some peace?"

"It was supposed to be empty, and it was raining out."

"Surely the Hall is large enough that you can find some space in it to be alone?"

She rolled her eyes before looking down into the remnants of her glass, she whispered "but Draco's there."

He watched her and knew the expression well, she was hiding torment. Something was cutting her up inside but she had no-one to tell, it was an all too familiar sight.

"Prof... Severus, would you mind if I stayed the night?" Snape almost choked on his mouthful of firewhiskey. "I've drunk far too much too be able to apperate safely and I don't really want to floo."

"Very well, I'll notify Draco of your whereabouts once you're settled." Standing he took her hand and helped her to her feet. "The guest room is upstairs, first door on the right, the bathroom..."

"I know; I've been sat on rental details for the last 5 years, trying to get him to do something with this place."

Snape watched Hermione disappear and then went to the fireplace, it was late but he knew he'd be able to get Draco, who was probably pacing waiting for his wife to get home.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione woke the following morning her head pounding and her mouth drier than the Sahara. Her bed felt different, without opening her eyes she listened for Draco, instead of hearing the expected breathing she could identify movement downstairs, which in itself was quite unusual as she could never usually identify noise from other rooms in the Hall. Cracking her eyes open she took in her surroundings, cream bedding, not her crisp white, a simple wooden wardrobe and definitely not her room. Beneath the sheets she realised she was still dressed and, in a rush, she remembered the previous night. Snape!

Standing quickly, a bit too quickly in her presently hungover state, she tried to remove some creases from her clothes and pulled on her boots. Walking quietly to the door she creaked it open and checked the hallway before venturing slowly downstairs. 'With any luck he'll be in the lab and I can floo home,' she thought, however on rounding the corner into the lounge she found him leaning against the fireplace, back to her reading the Prophet. The position was so atypical for him that she smiled and sheepishly walked towards him.

"Thank you Professor," she whispered. He didn't move

"Ah, you're finally up. I need you to assist me in the lab after breakfast," Hermione stared at him in surprise. He didn't look up and simply turned the page of his paper. "Draco isn't expecting you until this evening."

"Oh, and what will I be doing?" after waiting for a response that never seemed to arrive she decided that he had at least invited her to eat and so made her way past him to the kitchen where she began rifling through cupboards trying to locate the coffee.

"Please refrain from disrupting my kitchen, sit down," going to a chair she sat and watched him glide around the room. "Tea?"

"Coffee if you have any, please."

"Hmm," he switched on the kettle and then began pulling bits out. He placed a vial in front of her, which she unquestioningly administered and was relieved that her head started to clear. "I am working on an experimental potion that requires absolute precision, two hands would be preferable. I feel that to be suitable in exchange for my hospitality."

"I can at least pick your brain then," she muttered. "I really did appreciate last night, I just... I needed space."

"Mrs Malfoy, please I do not wish to know about the workings of..." he carried on moving around, placing cups heavily on the worktop.

Hermione glared at him, "fine, I'll not explain my actions then," she laid her head on the table and hoped that he'd hurry up with the coffee. Silence echoed around the kitchen and soon she was able to smell the fresh brew. He gently placed a pot of the rich brown liquid on the table with cream and two mugs before sitting down opposite.

"I spoke with Draco," she lifted her head and watched him prepare the drinks. "He seemed... unconcerned."

"I suppose he thought that an evening with you would be torture enough," she snapped. He raised his eyebrow at her and smirked before passing a mug to her.

"That as may be, but... he is my Godson and I do wish for him to be happy with life, as hard as that may be for your Gryffindor brain to process." Hermione poured cream into her drink, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Loyalty, may I remind you, is a very Gryffindor trait," she retorted primly taking a drink.

He rolled his eyes at her before continuing, "As I said I care for Draco and Artemis..."

"You know my son?" Her mouth dropped and she stared wide eyed at him. "Gods, SevSev is you isn't it? I had no idea, I thought it might have been a Muggle TV character."

"Yes, I do know Artie; someone has to ensure that he leans more towards the Slytherin tendencies." He smirked at her irritated expression. "I know that your relationship with Draco is..."

"How honest would you like my next statement to be and bear in mind, I would never normally discuss this with anyone and especially not you." He tilted his head slightly and gestured for her to continue. "I think he's having an affair, as you've just said loyalty is a Gryffindor trait and getting your own way is very Slytherin. He... how can I say this? We not physical... a touch, a kiss it's so significant these days." She frowned in thought and drank some more.

"So, am I to take it you're finding... physical intimacy with Weasley perhaps?" Hermione chewed on the nail of her little finger; it was as if she hadn't heard him or that she was dwelling on something else, something that was very wrong with this conversation.

"Ron? No, never. I mean he and I, we tried being together but were too different. Quidditch and 3Ws is all Ron is interested in, academic debate or conversation was always hard for us and even more so without Harry.

"I love Draco and have contemplated, maybe looking for that missing part elsewhere but I just couldn't. After all we had to do to convince everyone that us being together was right, I don't think I could ever be with anyone else, he's been my one and only." She stared at the table and then looked up at the man before her. "Veritaserum?"

"As you say, Slytherin's will do whatever we need to in order to get our way. I needed to know." Feeling defeated and oddly glad that she was able to talk to someone even if it was under the influence of a potion she didn't argue or flee, she just sat and braced herself for any other truths that he may still drag out of her.


	12. Chapter 12

"Tell me, do you love Draco?" The man wrapped his long fingered hands around his mug and drank slowly.

"I do, I know I do, I... I just..." Hermione took a deep breath and considered her phrasing, the potion taking greater hold and forcing truths from her. "I know you're just doing this at Draco's or Lucius's request, it's not like you really want to know, he'll just be after a way out..."

"My motives are purely my own, yes Draco may have made a request for me to talk to you but it is in my interests to discover the truth."

Nodding slowly she allowed the potion to take control and permitted the words to flow effortlessly out, her carefully constructed emotional dam bursting. "I used to adore him and was so in love..."

"Be concise, I haven't got all day to listen to your prattling," he snapped, watching her closely and taking in the nervousness that she exuded from every pore.

"If I'd ever imagined being apart from him it would've torn me apart, now, I love him no differently to Harry or Ron. Yes, he's the father of my child and my friend but since Artie was born, everything has crumbled. If you can imagine that the person you once loved more than anything touches you and it feels foreign, intimacy reduced to a chaste kiss or brief hug. I want... need to be desirable, to experience passion and desire, I want to be wanted." She had no idea when the tears had begun to fall, but by the time that she'd choked out the last word she began to sob uncontrollably oblivious that she'd finally pour her heart out to the emotionally stunted, dreaded potions professor.

Snape barely reacted, he considered her words. "Where have you sought comfort?" Hermione blinked and looked at him incredulously.

"Nowhere." That was all the answer that the potion required but now she'd broken down she decided that she may as well offload everything. "I've thought about it, but how could I, even if I could live with the guilt the consequences would be horrific. The headlines, the rumours and insinuations it could throw on myself, Draco, even Harry. I just..." She shrugged defeated.

"Yes?"

"I just want to be myself and I don't know who that is anymore." With that she stood and walked away, leaving the coffee behind.

Snape didn't follow her, nor did she make any effort to leave. Instead she sat on the sofa and took in her surroundings, the walls were covered in bookshelves, neatly arranged, a TV sat in the corner, the place was brighter than she remembered and less cluttered, it was homely and warm. It was nothing like Snape's assumed natural habitat, the Hogwarts dungeons.

Hermione had never considered Snape to be a good confidante, however she decided that years of living as a spy, concealing and gaining information would have made him a good listener, fair enough the veritaserum helped her but she'd found confessing everything so easy.

"If you've quite finished moping, I need you in the lab." She stood and obediently followed him to a concealed staircase and then descended into the well stocked laboratory.

They worked quietly for several hours, Snape giving her instructions and her unquestioningly following them as the only reprieve from her thoughts. As she finished powdering her last ingredient and pushed her hair back from her face she began to watch the man work, he was masterfully controlling three cauldrons simultaneously, maintaining stirring and addition of ingredients without a single mistake.

"Each of these separate potions need to now cool before they are combined and that powder you've produced can be added," he explained looking up at her and extinguishing the flames. "I believe I will be fine from here on, if you would please see yourself out." With that she was excused and wasted no time to make her way upstairs and leave with no need to discuss her earlier revelations.


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione stood outside Spinner's End and contemplated her request; she had been too afraid to ask Snape for help after she had unceremoniously forced her drunken self upon him, but now realised that he could potentially be the metaphorical key to unlocking the poison. She found herself watching the house curiously; the street was empty and though urban regeneration had helped the area improve there was still potential for more to be done. Snape's house stood in the middle of the street and looked fairly unremarkable, it was as all properties in this area a simple terraced house with a door that opened on to the footpath with three windows, two up and one down, they were uPVC and in all the property blended in well with it's surroundings. She stared at the window, willing him to look out, this was his territory and whilst he had been hospitable last time she was reluctant to believe that he would tolerate her invasion.

As she finally built up the courage to approach the door swung open and light cascaded into the street, laughter rang out into the still air and a figure left the property, walking off down the pavement, shoes clicking on the slabs. Blinking, Hermione pondered the guest that had left her moody professor's home and came to a startling conclusion, Snape had girlfriend. Suddenly pieces clicked into place, there had been feminine toiletries in the bathroom, the place was ordered and neat, brighter than the times she had visited just after his 'death', Snape was hospitable, considerate almost, men's shoes don't click and that laugh was definitely not a man. Snape has a girlfriend. Hermione didn't know why she was so surprised; she also felt a pang of something that she couldn't place.

Inhaling deeply, she blanked out seeing the woman and walked across the street before knocking firmly on the door. The door flung open but no one was stood in the entryway, she waited questioningly to see someone.

"Well, are you coming in?" the voice had its usual hard quality and was more familiar and expected tone from Snape. She stepped inside and saw him lounging in his chair by the fire, he was dressed casually in jeans and a fine knit jumper, looking far removed from the man she remembered from Hogwarts.

"Sir, I was wondering if..." His eyebrow arched at her.

"I am no longer a professor, nor do I keep hours whereby impudent students may invade my time. Shut the door, sit down and then tell me why you are invading my evening." Hermione looked at him and then closed the door, feeling both relieved and anxious she took a seat.

"Sir, I was hoping for your opinion on a sensitive matter."

"Despite appearances when we last met I am not interested in your and Draco's private life. I was merel..."

"No, nothing like that, whilst I appreciated you listening to me the other night, I wouldn't ever plan to..."

"Get to the point, Mrs Malfoy." His eyes were closed and his fingers steepled.

"I'm not supposed to discuss this, but as you're dead and obviously not interested in rejoining our world I can't see anyone objecting." She inhaled deeply before continuing. "I've been asked by the Minister to research a potion but I can't get anywhere, I'm stuck and it's utterly impossible. Please, Professor, could you help me with this. No one knows this sort of thing better than you."

He looked at her curiously, "why should I?"

"I... are you not in the slightest bit curious?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.

"Impertinent child, however I am curious as to why the Ministry is demanding secrecy on a potion. Bring a sample tomorrow and we'll discuss." She smiled and despite knowing that Snape was using that to close the conversation she stayed sat. "Anything else?"

Biting her lip she asked: "Tell me about what you've been doing?"

"Mrs Malfoy, that's not for discussion." His relaxed pose dissipated and he fixed her with a pointed stare.

"I didn't mean to pry I just, I suppose I was curious." Biting her lower lip she tore her eyes from his steely gaze and looked at the floor, feeling just like a school child. "I'm sorry, I'll..."

"Draco told me how you felt about my death and I am well versed in your insatiable need to question everything, suffice it to say that I have been working manufacturing potions, researching and trying to pass myself off as a Muggle chemistry teacher who now works in pharmaceuticals, a feat which is none too easy when you only know the basics of the damn subject." Hermione chuckled; whilst it was easy to draw similarities between the fields of chemistry and potions the two worked in entirely different ways, magical ingredients were not as simple as elements and compounds and magic itself could add a whole different dimension to the subject. "I am quite content and, as to the subject that I do believe you are more interested in, yes that was my lover who just left. No, she doesn't know a thing about me and if you even dare to suggest that I introduce you, I will hex you into oblivion."

"I wasn't..." His eyes narrowed. "Thank you for clearing that up."

"Thank you for caring enough to attempt to ask," he mumbled, obviously still not used to people being interested in him.

Despite having spent a considerable amount of time in his company over the past few days Hermione suddenly felt overwhelmed by his presence, tears began to well up in her eyes.

"And thank you for grieving me." Her eyes shot up to meet his, she looked deep into his onyx eyes and saw compassion. Hermione knew that few had truly grieved over his death, most people wanted reassurance that he actually had been killed, others had made the efforts but were wracked with guilt at how they had treated him prior to the incident in the Shrieking Shack. "I can only offer my apologies that I..."

"Don't apologise, I admit I was guilty I didn't save you but I really was sorry that he..."

"Let's not discuss this any further, I am fine, I have a life with which I am content. Now tell me about this potion."

Hermione explained the whole story as best she could, from how the project came to her to her failing research. He listened intently, jotting notes down periodically and asking clarifying questions as he thought of them. She arranged to meet with him on Saturday to begin fresh analysis work; he'd also promised her access to his texts, which was sufficient to get her excited about the upcoming research.


	14. Chapter 14

WARNING: This chapter contains self harm, which some may find disturbing, this will keep reoccurring throughout the next few chapters.

Hermione lay in the bed next to Draco, who was sat reading a detective novel that her father had lent him; she stared at the ceiling contemplating her first research session with Snape. Her mind raced through her research ensuring that she'd been through enough by herself to warrant inconveniencing him. She'd had a brief discussion with Draco about his death, but all she'd discovered was that he was obeying Snape's wishes, she couldn't argue.

Her husband was barely acknowledging her and had not said more than two words to her since she had slipped in beside him. She looked over at him and watched him for a moment trying to determine her feelings towards him, she loved him in part but really she wasn't sure, she surmised that her apathy towards him was possibly just a reaction to his to her. She reached out under the covers and stroked her hand down his chest and stomach, resting just above his pyjama bottoms.

"Love you," she whispered quietly.

He turned his head to look at her and without a smile responded, "love you too."

She watching him looking at her and felt that his response seemed nothing more than conditioning. "Do you really?"

"Yes, Hermione, I do," he placed his book on the nightstand and reached a hand out to gently caress her cheek.

"Am I still what you want? Do you find me attractive?"

"Hermione, you are beautiful and of course I want you, you're my wife." She smiled at him and ran her fingertips over his stomach lightly, then trailing them lower; he wandlessly switched the lights out and then delicately placed a kiss on her forehead before turning his back to her.

She listened to his breathing slowly even out and deepen, signalling his slumber, she had debated bringing up the magazine and her fears but she knew he'd be mad that she'd invaded his private space. She felt numb, she'd not been explicit in her want but she thought he'd pick up on her desire to be intimate, how explicit would she need to be to get him to touch her? She hoped Snape would tell him and have it make a difference.

She wanted to feel something, joy, lust, happiness, fear, distress, pain. Creeping from the bed she ventured to the bathroom, taking her wand with her; turned the light on, picking up the blade from the counter she sat on the floor and considered the blade, it's cold metal stared at her, she pressed the dull side against her arm watching the flesh go white under the pressure. She'd lived through a war, grieved for lost friends and comrades, fought for the man she loved against her friends who barely acknowledged his change of heart all by the time she turned 20 and she was reduced to an unfeeling automaton. Turning the blade over she pressed it into the flesh of her arm, gliding it effortlessly across the skin, she felt a sting and small bite as it cut in, withdrawing the edge she looked at the mark, it was slowly oozing bright red, Hermione considered the mark and revelled in the jewel like drops that dripped from it. The stinging felt good. She took the blade again a second time and repeated the action, slicing the skin and watching the blood pool. A smile crossed her face and her eyes fluttered closed as she absorbed the pain.

Using her wand she healed the wounds and then taking a bottle of brown liquid from the cupboard she applied dittany solution over the faint scars and then returned to bed knowing that they would have paled into insignificance in the morning with no one any the wiser.

She wished she had someone who would understand. Who could appreciate her situation? Who could make her feel? Who would want her? It was with these thoughts that she drifted off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione began to use the blade as a means of creating feelings in herself that she had long since forgotten. She felt like a switch had been flicked and turned on her ability to experience emotion. She began to meet with Severus regularly at Spinner's End to examine the mysterious potion and found herself looking forward to their time together.

Her lab time with Snape was productive, she began to feel like she could crack the puzzle of the poison, she also found this time to be more rewarding than being at work. She found that Snape was still the fierce demanding man she remembered who could cut her down with a sharp glare, though she was finding him more personable and less inclined to berate her. Whilst the potion was their focus, she found herself often engaged in heated debates on a range of topics, from magical law and developments in potions to Muggle matters. They often argued opposing sides but on occasion agreed so vehemently that should they decide to take on the powers that be the opposition would be a jabbering wreck once they were through.

Though she was curious about his integration into Muggle society and how he was managing to maintain disconnected from their world she never brought up the topic. Nor did they discuss his relationships, which puzzled Hermione more than anything. Not that he didn't deserve a love life or to have companionship but that woman, based on her dealings with her, was not right for him. She didn't understand the wars, the sacrifices, magic even, she lacked depth and whilst not stupid, she just wasn't right for him. She hypothesised that he really had no choice but to date a Muggle if he wanted to remain hidden and any British witch of appropriate age would have either been his student or known him from his school days. He was a puzzle wrapped up in a conundrum and she doubted he'd ever let anyone truly get to know him.

She was reading a potions text that she had borrowed from Severus one evening in bed, Draco slid in next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. His fingers began lightly brushing the skin of her stomach making her wriggle at the tickling sensation. She snuggled back into her husband's warm body, her eyes not leaving the text. Draco continued his slow movements; Hermione squirmed and put her book to one side, his breath on her neck felt good and she found herself wanting more of his touch. His fingers dipped under the band of her shorts and made their way through her curls towards their goal. He rubbed at her nub and a small moan escaped her lips, turning to her back she removed her bottoms to give him better access. He kissed her deeply and she guided his hand to insert a finger, he did as she demanded briefly and then removing his underwear he quickly entered her causing her to gasp in pain. She was in no way ready for his invasion, each movement made her feel sore. Her head turned to the side and she closed her eyes, waiting for it to end. She could have said 'no' and have him stop but she wanted the intimacy, this was the first time since January she had held him in her body. It took him no time to complete and she kissed him smiling before rolling over and feigning sleep.

She fought back tears, she hated herself for allowing him to invade her like that and she hated him for not noticing she wasn't ready and for not caring enough about her completion. It took him only a short while before falling asleep and allowed her to go to the bathroom; she grabbed the blade quickly and made harsh deep cuts into her flesh. Her eyes fluttered closed as she made each incision, the lines criss-crossed her left leg and then she went to work on her right, each slice reminded her of a different feeling she missed and of her worthless emptiness.

She sat for a time watching the blood drip and begin to coagulate, relief flooding her body as each second passed. Inhaling deeply she reached for her wand to start to clear up the marks, the healing spells ceased the blood flow and began the curative process, her right leg cleared up apart from the odd mark but she knew this time she'd not be able to fully obliterate those from the left. Looking in the medicine cupboard she saw that her supply of dittany was none existent, she grabbed bandages and wrapped them around her leg, securing them with a simple sticking charm.

Standing, she found her legs sting and her left one hard to put too much weight on, she left the room quietly and grabbed a set of robes, she knew she didn't have any in her lab, Draco may but he was meticulous over his ingredients and would notice if she took even a drop. Severus had some and as she had access to his lab easily she knew that within minutes she could be there and back, he'd not mind. Moving quickly she went to the apparation hall and with a crack she was gone.

She appeared in the lounge at Spinner's End, her head was spinning and she felt sick, walking to the hidden doorway to the lab she stumbled and knocked a lamp off a table. Cursing silently, she prayed that Snape was out and that he hadn't heard her, she moved as quickly as possible, opening the door and descending. She reached the cupboard where she knew he stored any potions or ingredients that could be used directly, her head swam and the room began to spin. She heard a loud noise behind her and felt her body go stiff before hitting the floor.

"Fuck!" she heard a male voice exclaim as she started to come round. "You stupid chit."

Hermione tried to sit up but her head felt like it'd explode. "Professor?"

"What on Earth are you doing here in the middle of the night?" He towered over her glaring, not offering her help to get up.

"I..." She fell back to the stone floor. He knelt down next to her and studied her expression.

"Are you ill?" Hermione couldn't move. Snape looked over her body and saw her bare leg through the gap in her robes. "Wh..."

His eyes tracked up her leg and saw the contrast between the bright red blood and the white bandage that covered her upper thigh. He raised a questioning eyebrow and looked into her partially open eyes; she nodded dumbly knowing she needed his help. He pushed the robe aside and began to unravel the fabric, she hissed in pain as it pulled at the healing skin. Ignoring any complaint he examined the slashes and then stood and left her.

"Drink!" he ordered pouring a viscous liquid down her throat. He then began to use his wand over her leg muttering a spell as he went. Hermione felt the skin knit back together and him move away, he knelt back at her side and gave her another potion. "Dreamless sleep." He then swept her up in to his arms and carried her to bed.


	16. Chapter 16

Hermione awoke to see Snape slumped in a chair by the bed asleep, he was dressed in simple black jersey pyjamas and looked possibly the most relaxed she'd ever seen him. She saw that she was still in her own nightwear and was tucked up under a thick cream duvet; she wasn't in the same room as she'd stayed in previously and knowing that the house only had the two bedrooms she knew she was in his bed.

Sitting up she looked at her skin she saw that he'd healed her wounds, better than she could have, her fingers trailed over the scars that had been left.

"They're permanent." Startled she jumped and looked wide eyed at him, his eyes were closed but his posture showed he was no longer sleeping. "I did my best."

To her ears it sounded almost like an apology at not being able to repair the damage she'd caused. "I'm sorry I..."

"I don't want an apology, an explanation however would be more appropriate over breakfast. Come," his voice held the usual gruff quality that was familiar and in a way it reassured her. Standing he left the room holding the door to allow her to follow.

She sat at the table and stared at the wooden surface, marked with age and misuse; he moved around behind her and quickly placed two slices of buttered toast in front of her. He then placed a cafetiere and two cups down with milk and sugar and took a seat opposite.

Her honey eyes flicked up to meet his onyx ones, "I suppose I should try to explain." She bit down on her lip hard, drawing blood.

"Eat. I assume that you trust me not to have laced your drink this time." Humour flashed in his eyes briefly.

"I'm sure you wouldn't. Could you just use legimency on me?" He looked at her pointedly.

"Whilst that would explain the method and possible reason, it would not serve any cathartic purpose and as a result would not help you."

"But I really don't want to explain that, I'll discuss everything else just... No, why would you make any of this easy." Closing her eyes she collected her thoughts and took a deep cleansing breath. "Since our last personal conversation I have found a method of expressing myself that you may find... unsavoury. It helps, I just went a bit too far."

"Hermione, if you consider losing consciousness on my floor to be a **bit** too far I dread to think what going overboard would be." She smiled at his remark. "Look." He began to roll his left sleeve up.

"I've seen the Mark a thousand times."

"Look," he snarled, his arm still bore the etching of the Dark Lord, black and unmoving against his pale skin.

"It's... the others, the mark faded."

"I made a mistake a long time ago and instead of repenting I made mistake after mistake and even when I was supposed to be atoning. I was still a hideous person." He ran a finger over the Dark Mark. "This reminds me of my actions, of each murder I committed, of each betrayal..."

"But you're not that person, you protected us all. You..."

"I was the bastard that conspired against the Order. I helped the Dark Lord to murder my best friend. I escaped death when others that trusted me gave their lives."

"They don't know that though." She gave him a rue smile and reached across to touch his arm. "You saved us, without you the war would have been lost before we even started. You, Severus Snape, you are a hero and no-one would deny that. You need to forgive yourself."

"I can't, and seeing that reminds me every day," his voice was harsh and cutting.

Hermione looked deep into his eyes and before she could register it he was inside her mind rifling through her memories looking at the previous night and her other incidences of cutting. She felt instantly dirty and desperately craved a knife to purge herself.

Pulling out, he looked at her and saw silent tears trace down her face. "Why?"

"I thought you weren't going to do that?" He tilted his head smirking slightly. "I guess it serves me right for trusting a Slytherin."

"Trusting a Slytherin is never a mistake, just remember to clarify our actions first. I repeat, why?"

"I told you last time, I need to feel. I didn't do this out of some insane plot to get Draco to care for me. The blade slicing feels... amazing, it's relief, I am able to actually experience something and it makes nothing seem too hard to contend with." A smile fluttered across her face.

"Draco?"

"Doesn't have a clue, I don't want him to worry." Her expression hardened. "That's why I came here, I was intending on getting some dittany and leaving. I just misjudged, that's all."

"That's all?" His eyebrows rose and his lips curled around the words. "You need help." Hermione inclined her head and gaped at him. Whilst she had become more used his manner the idea of him suggesting help was very alien.

"Can't you imagine the Prophet? 'Malfoy Abuses Heroine Wife' or 'War Heroine Tortured By Death Eater Husband' or 'Do Death Eaters Walk Amongst Us'! No! It takes just one slip from someone and it's over." She'd started at a whisper but by the time she had uttered the last syllable had risen to a shriek. "Just leave it Professor, I thank you for your help but I must now leave."

Hermione stood pushing the chair back hard; before she had even moved out of the room Snape had her arms pinned to her side and was restraining her.

"You're going nowhere!" he snarled. "You are a stupid little girl who..."

"How dare you! You're a pathetic coward who..."

"I am not a coward!" he roared and threw her into the sitting room pushing her on to the sofa. He stood towering over her, his eyes blazing. Ignoring his intimidation she stood again and rose her chin in defiance.

"You daren't even face the people that you saved! The people that fought to exonerate you! How is that not cowardly?" Her eyes flared dangerously at him as he glowered down at her, using his height to his advantage.

"Avoiding a life I am choosing not to remember and abandoning that life is my choice..."

"And doing what I do, that is mine. SO BACK OFF SNAPE!" Feeling a wave of adrenaline, she accentuated her final words by poking him in the chest. He quickly grabbed her wrist and twisted it, she tried to wrench it away but he over powered her and twisted her round pinning her arm behind her back.

She felt his hot breath brush her ear as he purred, "if you want to feel you need to let yourself experience." Her eyes widened as she took in all his possible meanings. "You are a selfish girl, you are an insufferable know-it-all who has no idea how to really live and wants to wallow in self pity regardless of who it may hurt in the process, you are a pathetic excuse for a witch. Think of your son each and every time you do your dirty little secret and then tell me it's your choice and not some pathetic self destructive initiative that is designed to hurt everyone. Think of that little boy who looks up at you adoringly and who could lose his mother through her own stupidity."

His voice had not risen above a whisper but the words stung like a dagger. Tears had formed in her eyes as wrenched from his grasp and with a crack she'd left his home.

xxx

Hermione sat on the doorstep to her home waiting for her nerves to calm before facing her husband, who would likely be fuming at her sudden disappearance. She didn't know if Snape had made any effort to contact him so her story needed an element of truth, always lie with the truth. She was still dressed in her nightwear and she was still angry with Snape for his brutal words, they'd stung, especially because they were accurate. She'd become the schoolgirl and, as her professor, his words went straight to her heart, some part of her still wanted him to be pleased with her. Rubbing her eyes she composed herself and walked into the house.

Draco was stood cuddling Artemis in the kitchen trying to console the child. His eyes narrowed at her but he remained silent, she reached out and the boy wriggled into her grasp. She smoothed his hair comfortingly and kissed his tear stained cheeks. Ignoring her husband as he stoically walked off the boy looked at her, eyes filled with love and concern. She snuggled her faced into his hair and smiled, then peppered his face with kisses until he wormed away from her.

"God, I'm glad to see you." Hermione spun to see a dark haired figure stride into the room.

A genuine smile crossed her face, followed by confusion. "Harry, what are..." Artemis ran to give his 'uncle' a hug and then zoomed off to find his latest favouring toy.

"Your bloody husband woke me at 4 this morning to tell me you were missing. We combed the house and... Ron wasn't best pleased, for some reason Ferret thought you might be with him."

Her eyes narrowed, "you know damn well that Ron and I barely speak these days. Why would I be with him?"

"So where were you? I know you apperated but..."

"I had a brainwave about a potion I'm working on and I was missing some vital ingredients, I just had to work on it so I went to a colleague's house, we worked for a while and I slept there." She shrugged. '_No need to say whose house or that the ingredient was to patch me up_,' she thought.

Harry pulled her into a hug and grinned. "Trust you, I'd've thought Malfoy would be used to the work-a-holic Hermione we know and love by now. Leave a note next time, Gin was going mental at being woken up by an irate Slytherin. So a potion?"

"Yeah," Hermione removed herself from his grasp and held up a jar of Kenco, Harry responded with a short nod. "It's driving me mad, I need someone who specialises in potions but they have to be impartial and trustworthy."

"You're not still wondering what happened to Snape are you?" She bit her lip and poured boiling water into the cups.

"I suppose I still feel a little guilty, I mean we left him to die and..." her voice trailed off. Adding milk to the coffee she passed one over.

"I watched his memories over and over and one day I found the Mirror of Erised and, I just wanted to see everyone, Fred, Mum, Dad, Remus, Sirus but it didn't show me any of that. It showed me him, I guess I just wanted to believe that he was happy and I saw him smile, scary huh? It was weird though, you were with him, I didn't realise it was you back then, it kind of looked like you do now." A frown creased his brow, "I suppose it would make sense, because him being happy would make you happy. I know you still feel guilty that we left him."

Hermione and Harry whiled away the morning chatting and playing with Artemis whilst Draco hid away.


	17. Chapter 17

AN = Thank you so much for the massive support, every new follower or favourite makes me grin and the reviews are amazing and mean so much to me, I love all my readers.

xxx

Hermione staunchly avoided Snape over the following days, which turned into weeks, he'd saved her again and Harry's words were not entirely lost on her, his vision in the Mirror of Erised was curious why would her being with him make him happy?

Whilst she was happy to give in on discovering the poison's cure and admit defeat, especially if it required his help, something puzzled her. She'd combed the wizarding press for any hints of communities being rendered squibs and found not one reference, even the Quibbler, known for it's more outlandish stories had nothing. The Ministry were good at covering things up, but this good?

Hermione decided that she needed to give it one last try after she received an owl from Snape, who indicated that he may have found something of interest. He was unavailable, a date, but had, however, offered Hermione access to his lab and books to allow her to continue his research. She delighted in his trust but it irked her that she was being discarded for 'Her', their work was important and she needed him. She knew she was being irrational and that she really had no claim on him, but since Draco had gone back to treating her as a distant relative that he just happened to share a bed with.

She'd even now given up on self pleasure, as no matter how close to falling over the edge she got she just couldn't make that final leap into an oblivion of ecstasy. Draco didn't feature in her fantasies; in fact, she couldn't fill her mind with any particular person no matter what she tried. She had again considered hunting out someone to provide the much-needed intimacy but she didn't just want sex, she wanted someone to talk to, to hold and to be there for her.

Footsteps sounded through the floorboards above and she heard voices followed by giggles; her stomach turned at the thought of what might be going on upstairs. However, as she didn't want to make her presence known at risk of catching Snape in an intimate position she put a two way silencing charm on the lab as well as a strong locking charm and continued to read the tome in front of her.

Before long Hermione had forgotten the couple upstairs and was fully immersed in the combination of dark potions and curses, she'd found a particularly interesting combination that could be the foundation of the poison and wanted to try to make it so that she could investigate the similarities properly. She grabbed her notes and began to look at the shelves of ingredients that were ordered with military precision. For a man who had been thought dead for the past ten years he was remarkably well equipped, but then again, having Lucius Malfoy as a personal friend (or father-in-law) was a definite boon. She began to pull bottles, vials and jars off the shelves and arranged them on the desk, positioning an iron cauldron and stirring rod ready she began to prepare the ingredients, some she would have to do as she went lest they start oxidising. Finally, she lit the flame under the cauldron and began adding each ingredient, following the instructions meticulously.

The potion changed from deep amber to a bright turquoise that reminded her of the Caribbean Sea. Extinguishing the flame, she checked with the text and saw that the next stage was to cast the spell before adding the final ingredients and then it should turn a pale green. Biting her lip briefly, she began to intone the enchantment and perform the wand movements; a door slammed shut and causing a momentary lapse in her concentration. The spell was broken and the liquid began to foam and bubble over the rim of the vessel.

"What on Earth are you..." Snape's voice echoed around the subterranean room. Hermione jumped back just in time as the cauldron exploded, her eyes snapping to see him rapidly wave his hand to create a shield to protect them both. As pieces of metal and boiling potion bounced off the protective barrier

"I'm sorry," she found herself staring at his left arm, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.

"I've been knocking on that door for the last 10 minutes, why didn't you answer me?" He remained motionless staring down at her. "Hermione!"

"I know, I... I didn't want to hear you two together; I thought you'd want the privacy."

"Don't you ever dare lock me out of any part of my house. Is that understood?" His eyes burned with anger and the child who'd cried at his cutting remarks came back and nodded dumbly. "Help me clean up this mess."

Standing she followed his lead and began to scougify surfaces as he banished the remnants of the cauldron. She stole the odd glance at him as she worked but said nothing.

"What were you brewing?" he asked eventually, his voice noticeably calmer and holding a note of intrigue.

"Page 42, thought it might be..."

"The answer?" he smirked, almost waiting to see if she picked up on his muggle reference.

"To life, the universe and everything, I guess." She smiled at him and saw mirth in his eyes. "I didn't mean to lock you out; I just wanted the room secure."

"If you are in my home, nothing will harm you or affect your work, the wards are set to our magical signatures only down here. Do you understand my problem with you adding to those wards without either my consent or knowledge?" She blinked at him, surprised that he hadn't raged at her or kicked her out. "Idiot girl."

"Sorry," her voice quivered.

"There are many texts and tomes down here that contain secrets that should never be unlocked and you the paramount know-it-all need to realise that Dark dangers lurk in the most harmless of places."

"I know; sometimes the most innocuous of books and spells are the most destructive. Your sixth year potions text, for example."

"That was never supposed to have been touched, it was simply hidden in plain sight and I am more than aware of my mistake."

"He would never have passed that year without that book; you really are an excellent teacher."

"Flattery, Miss Granger will get you nowhere." She sat on a stool and watched him prowl around his lab making sure that every last item was in place.

Biting her lip she said, "Severus, thank you."

"What for?"

"For," she hesitated and looked into his eyes which pierced her from across the room. "Being there for me, you always have been even if I never realised it. So thank you."

"Just promise me you'll never do anything stupid again."

"How can I promise that? Exploration is about risk." She grinned.

"Too much time with a Potter," he mumbled. He stalked towards her and sat next to her. "So, what did you learn?"

"I've found something; or rather it's what I haven't found." He gestured for her to continue. "I've combed the press and searched the internet, erm the Muggle..."

"I know what the internet is, Hermione." He scowled at her.

"But I've found no references to magical communities disappearing, no odd incidences, no higher than usual squib numbers, nothing. It's like this poison doesn't exist." Her hands moved wildly and she chewed the inside of her mouth. She looked in her bag and pulled out the sample, the clear liquid looked innocent enough and she'd never found anything harmful in it, in fact they'd never found anything in it. "I'm going to take it."

"And we're back to the not doing anything stupid."

"Look I don't want to kill myself or render myself a squib, take it as an educated experiment." She lifted the vial and felt his strong hand grip hers tightly.

"NO. Did I teach you nothing? If I am the much acclaimed teacher you stated I was earlier then I would have been able to knock into your skull that you never take an unidentified potion." His eyes burned into hers. "You're too valuable and too intelligent. Let me."

Snape released her hand and took the bottle from her, he sniffed the contents and before he could place it to his lips she knocked it from his grasp.

"I won't let you." She smiled and looked at him, almost as if it were the first time she was truly seeing him. "You're too special. Too important." Her voice tailed off and she sat staring into his eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Author note: apologies, I forgot to cite Douglas Adams in a disclaimer in the last chapter, I make no claim on the idea of 42 being the answer to life, the universe and everything, in fact I wasn't even alive when this statement was first made. As always I own nothing and it is graciously borrowed from JK Rowling who is the true genius behind everything not myself, I also don't make a penny from this or any other story that appears on here.

Licking her lower lip before clamping her front teeth into it, Hermione's brow creased as she considered her next move. Tension was palpable, blinking hard and breaking the intense gaze between them she inhaled deeply.

"I'll go to the Ministry on Monday and get another sample, they'll bitch at me for wasting this one but I'll convince them it was all in the name of research." She flashed a smile at Snape who was watching her curiously.

"You wouldn't seriously have drunk that concoction would you?" he asked almost incredulous at her disregard for basic safety.

"Would you?" she retorted. "It's irrelevant what either of us would or wouldn't have done as there is now nothing to do it with. I am beginning to come up with a theory though."

His eyebrow raised in question as he looked between her and the inert liquid that was pooled on the floor.

"There is no poison. I said I could find no reference to its' use, I can't locate any ingredient in it, I knew there was no way that the potion I made today would match even without completing it. Even a spell carrier would have a trace that we could detect. The question is, why would the Minister or whoever want me to research such a proposition?"

"Do you doubt the ability of such a solution to ever be created?"

"No, I think it is possible but that it hasn't been done. Yet. I think," she paused and rubbed at her eyes. "I think that there is more going on here than meets the eye. I've only ever had contact with one Auror and a letter from Percy Weasley, how he ever succeeded Kingsley is still a mystery to me. That is why I am going to make a little social call on Monday and get a new sample. It just doesn't add up."

Snape looked at the woman with an amused expression, he could see the twelve year old who would stamp her foot in impatience at academic confusion but masked by a mature researcher who saw challenge and conquest.

"Return when you get the new sample, we'll run a few tests on it and attempt to discover the true problem."

Years of Severus Snape the educator told Hermione that this was a dismissal and that there was no further avenue for discussion, she said farewell and left him, deciding to walk for a while before returning home.

As the Mancunian air hit her lungs, as fresh as city air ever got, she thought through the events that had happened inside the terraced house. Would she really have ingested the poison? At the time she would, as she was sure that it would be innocuous but she could let him take the risk, why?He didn't know her reasoning for dismissing the liquid as risk free, did he trust her that much, or did he not care about losing his magic. And then there was the tension that filled the air after she torn the vial from him. She was horrified and fascinated by one simple idea that had presented itself at that moment, gazing into his eyes she saw him as a man and one who she could kiss and release a well of passion that had been buried inside her.

She walked until she had cleared her mind sufficiently to attempt apperation without the risk of splinching and then returned home.

Monday morning rolled around at wicked speed and Hermione was ready to face down Percy Weasley, she was not going to see any go between any longer and was almost ready to draw blood. Over what remained of the weekend she had considered the poison in greater detail, no element could be found by either herself or Snape, a miraculous feat when taking into account their combined knowledge and fastidious approach to research, no mention of any of the symptoms of exposure were recorded anywhere obtainable, Snape's dubious contact network similarly had revealed nothing noteworthy and the whole thing just didn't add up.

Storming into the Minister of Magic's office was not a wise choice, she couldn't play the friendship or the we're practically family cards so it was to be down right grovelling to his secretary. May Robbins had been a secretary at the MOM for the past 40 years, she knew the place inside out and back to front, she also wasn't a woman to cross. It was her no nonsense approach and methodical nature that drew her from the secretarial pool to become the Minister's right hand woman and she was good.

Hermione took a slow approach to the desk holding a cappuccino and a box of Honeydukes' finest selection, smiling and holding the offerings out she stood by the desk waiting acknowledgement. When the greying witch looked up analytically Hermione seized the opportunity.

"Madam Robbins, I have dealings with the Minister and I stupidly forgot to make an appointment, I know how terribly busy he is and that by even encroaching on your valuable time I am a dreadful inconvenience but I was truly hoping that these would allow me just five minutes with the Honourable Mr Weasley." Hermione placed the bribes on her desk and received a raised eyebrow at the offerings.

"Mrs Malfoy, your husband is presently engaging with the Minister and I expect that it will be some time before they conclude their business."

"I'm sure that Draco wouldn't mind me borrowing the Minister for just a couple of moments."

"Whilst that may be the case, they are engaged in delicate discussions that I am under instruction not to disturb under any circumstances." The woman lifted the lid of the hot beverage and inhaled the scent of Italian roast, her resolve was crumbling.

"I'm not 'any circumstance' Madam, the man is my husband and we have no secrets. I am afraid this matter is terribly urgent and needs to be addressed." Hermione paused and changed tack slightly as neither of her 'gifts' had yet been sampled. "I do so love Honeydukes chocolates, these are a new sample selection, hot of the production line, I am rather one of their best customers so I get first tasting of new products." The box lid was lifted and Madam Robbins took one of the beetroot and raspberry cremes, slowly sampling the treat Hermione knew she had won when the woman's eyes fluttered shut in chocolate bliss.

"The meeting is scheduled to finish at 12, I will be on my lunch break at quarter past, the Minister won't leave for his lunch until 1." With a winning smile Hermione thanked the secretary and left planning her line of questioning for when she returned.

Leaving her desk promptly at five past 12, Hermione arrived just as Madam Robbins had left her desk. Knocking quickly on the Minister's door and then walking in immediately afterwards she stood and waited Percy's acknowledgement.

"Mrs _Malfoy,_" he spat. "To what do I owe this _pleasure?_"

Percy's tone,"Minister, I do believe you've had a meeting with my husband. I hope it was highly productive."

"How may I be of assistance Madam?" He trained his eyes back on to the parchment on his desk.

"The project you set me, the extra-curricular one, I have questions I need answering." Percy began to write in green ink, Hermione narrowed her eyes and took the seat opposite him.

"I have no idea what project you are referring to."

"Oh, I was under the impression that I was investigating a poison, a magic stripping one, your behalf. Damn, must have it wrong." She began to stand.

"I do believe that is a classified project Mrs Malfoy." Smiling she lowered herself back into her chair. "Questions?"

"Yes, the poison is unreported, I've checked British and International publications and I can't seem to find anything."

"Even you can't possibly believe that any government would allow such news to be published." He remained impassive, scrawling away.

"I am aware of that but, and here is my main issue, I can't detect any elements of the poison. It's almost as if it doesn't exist."

"Well, maybe your intellect and potions knowledge is not quite as high as everyone is lead to believe." Hermione clicked her tongue at his attempt at an insult.

"Maybe, however I have involved a nameless colleague, who has many more years experience than I and they are equally stumped." She had to make a concerted effort to not reveal who her partner was, even a slight slip may trigger something within Percy Weasley's mind.

"You were not to divulge any information Mrs Malfoy. This could be grounds for termination."

"We need a further sample. I am not giving up, if this is potentially harmful, my colleague and I will discover it."

Without uttering a word, the Minister stood and left the office briefly before returning with a vial of the colourless liquid.

"Who is your collaborator?"

"I will not divulge their identity, you need to trust me."

His eyes flashed in anger at her."Trust, Ronald did that and look where he ended up. Abandoned at the alter whilst you ran off with _Malfoy_."

Rolling her eyes slowly at him and then narrowing them."Not over that yet are you? Ron and I didn't work, he's better of without me. I will not have this conversation with you Percy Ignatius Weasley."

"Draco better watch out with this _partner_ of yours, or he might end up screwed over by you too." Standing she drew back her right hand and smacked it across his face, he thrust the container at her and held the door open for her to leave. "Who's next? Hurt Ron more by running off with Snape."

The door slammed shut behind her and she was able to process Percy's final remark. How odd to bring Snape into this?


	19. Chapter 19

Author note: Really sorry it has taken me so long to update. In addition to owning absolutely nothing in this story, it all comes from JK Rowling, I need to add that I also do not own any rights to Fireman Sam.

Entering her office, Hermione slumped against the door, composing her thoughts she walked round to sit at her desk and look over the pile of papers that had materialised in the time she had been out of the office. She immersed herself into her work in the vain attempt to block out nagging feeling in the back of her mind that nothing was as it seemed when it came to dealing with this damned poison nor with Severus Snape, Percy Weasley's comment cemented that opinion.

Finishing up with the last piece of parchment she filed in away and then stretched, cat like, trying to force the uncomfortable ache from her spine. As she rolled her head from side to side she was startled that the silence of her sanctuary had been breeched by the appearance of a rather terrifying silvery snake. Taking it in for a moment, she quickly realised that it was a patronus, though not one she recognised and was rather taken aback when it began speaking rapidly using the voice of Severus Snape.

"Spinners End searched by Aurors, do NOT come."

The snake dissipated and left her questioning the validity of it's rather succinct message. Based on the memories Harry had taken during the final battle Snape's patronus was a doe, in tribute to Lily Evans, whilst they could change it was rare. However, Hermione quickly hypothesised, a traumatic even such as having your throat torn to shreds by a snake could very well alter one's form.

Standing and grabbing her cloak from the stand by the door, she promptly left the Ministry in a flourish and took off for home, she needed to speak with Draco urgently.

Due to the first falls of snow the floo network was suffering from high levels of traffic and so she'd had to queue and then got redirected twice; if she'd been convinced that the Lancastrian weather would be an improvement she would've apperated, though the risk of splinching was not lost on her and so she took the sensible option. Her mind flitted between attempting to find her absent husband and child, locating Snape or remaining exactly where she was and relishing in the tranquillity. Draco would most likely be with his father, Artemis with a house-elf, Snape had limited options so would also probably be with them at Malfoy Manor and whilst the peace was much appreciated there were other more pressing matters to be dealt with. Grabbing a handful of powder she returned to the floo and, without any problems appeared in the library at her in-laws.

The room had always taken her breath away, bookshelves adorned each wall and were crammed full with a range of tomes that promised knowledge and escapism; Draco had teased her early on in their marriage that this room was the reason she was with him. A lone figure was sat in a wing backed chair watching a small boy push a fire engine around the floor whilst providing a narrative that bordered on plagiarism of an episode of Fireman Sam. Dusting the soot from her robes Hermione watched the seated man listen intently, interjecting at appropriate moments with questions.

"No!" the child shouted, his face an indignant mask. "Need to rescue naughty Norman."

"Artie." The gentle tone of placating a small child took her by surprise. "It's time to put the fire engine away. Mitzy told us it's dinner time."

"No! Need to play!" A smile crossed her face at her son's stubborn nature.

"Besides, your mother is home." Two dark eyes met hers from across the room.

"Don't want mum. Want to play fire engine."

"Charming, Artemis Obsidian Malfoy. What have you been doing today?" Hermione crossed the floor and perched on the edge of the chair.

"I play fire engine. Sev, shoot water." The boy demanded, she looked at the man who with a lazy flick of his wand made the fire engine squirt a stream of water from it's hose. Surprise didn't quite express the way she felt at that moment, she looked between the boy and man and at once she saw Severus Snape in a different light.

"So, you two have been busy. If dinner is ready then we must go before Grandpa sends the pixies after us."

"Awww, mummy." The boy stuck his bottom lip out. "Sev stay? Please."

"I'll stay Artie. Come on I don't want to get attacked by those pixies." Snape stood and the boy held his arms out to be picked up, a gesture that was understood quickly and acted upon. "So, you got my message Hermione."

"I did but it was after a rather interesting meeting with Minister Weasley." They left the library and headed towards the dining room. "I'll explain after dinner and a chat with Draco."

His eyebrow raised questioningly. "Did you get the sample?"

"I did." She slipped the vial from her pocket and into his.

"I'll work on it whilst you speak to Draco then." She smiled briefly at him before they met the Malfoys.

Dinner passed comfortably, with Hermione remembering to keep her tongue in check and behave as she was supposed to as the wife of pureblood nobility; she occupied Artemis ensuring that he ate rather than played with his food and discussed fashion and fundraising with Narcissa even though the subject bored her to tears.

Afterwards Lucius took Snape to the study, Artemis was occupied with his grandmother and she had the opportunity to speak to Draco. He looked his usual statuesque self, not a hair out of place and reeked of nobility, she still couldn't believe he'd ever married her.

"Had a good day?" she asked him innocuously.

"Fine, I dealt with a small matter earlier and then brought Artie here, he has thoroughly enjoyed being with Severus." He looked down at her and brushed an errant curl from her face.

"I saw, he's very good with him. Why were you at the Ministry?" she asked biting on her lip, almost afraid of his answer.

"I met with Percy, we had a meeting about a potion, it was nothing serious." He smiled at her, she knew he had the ability to lie too easily. "How did you know?"

"Oh, I needed Percy too and his rottweiler said you were meeting with him." A smirk crossed his face. "Does Percy know about the Professor?"

"Gods no! Severus wants to stay hidden and Father and I are happy to help. In fact, only the people in this house know about him surviving."

"You said a potion, what was it?" A flicker of confusion showed in his expression.

"Oh, a new medical advancement Severus developed, St Mungo's won't touch it until it has Ministerial approval. I was trying to speed the process along."

"May I steal your wife Draco? We have something pressing to discuss," a silky voice asked by her shoulder. Her husband nodded agreement and she was led away to the potions laboratory in silence.

"You work for Draco?" she queried as they entered the room.

"I supply him with potions that he then sells on as I cannot do it directly." He took the vial from his pocket and gently removed the cork, she sat on a stool and looked at him. Sniffing the contents he scowled. "This is different, it's not the same as the previous solution."

Standing she walked over to him and smelt the substance. "No, it's definitely not the same. Either the last vial was tampered with or something else is going on."

"I believe there are many things going on, it is a matter of piecing them together."

"Tell me about the auror invasion and then I'll explain my day." She returned to her seat and watched him replace the cork and set it down on the bench behind him.

"Not a great deal to tell, I was notified that my wards were being breeched and after casting every illusion spell I could think of to make the house look inhabited I got the Hell out. It was led by Potter, no doubt the imbecile will be unable to detect anything. I imagine that it won't be long before they turn up here, though why they're looking for me at all is a mystery."

"Draco met with the Minister over some potion of yours that needs approval today, could he have let slip?"

Looking down his nose at her he sighed. "Hermione, he hadn't told you I really doubt he'd let it slip in a business meeting."

"Draco and I barely discussed you even when he 'inherited' from you. He doesn't let his guard down often and I can't imagine your name popping up mid-coitus." She laughed, the idea of Snape coming up during sex amused her, but the idea of sex and Snape was not the trigger.

"Indeed," a smirk played on his lips. "What did you learn from Mr Weasley?"

"He's still upset about me abandoning Ron, he reluctantly gave me the poison and he thinks of me as a harlot. He brought your name up though and spoke as if he knew you were still with us."

Snape's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "you think Draco turned me in?"

"No, but as you said there are things going on here I don't understand and it all hinges on what's in there." Hermione nodded her head at the bench.

"Let's get to work then."


	20. Chapter 20

Snape spent a week living at Malfoy Manor before he declared that he needed space and would be retuning to Spinners End regardless of any surveillance he may be under. With the new sample, he and Hermione were making some progress. They had identified four elements that made up the base, though they were no close to working out what caused the reaction that the Ministry claimed. All research had to be put on hold however with the arrival of December.

Christmas was hurtling towards them at a frightening pace and with it came an onslaught of parties. Hermione played the part of Draco's dutiful wife at his functions and he played the respectful adoring husband at hers; when it came to it they could give the impression of the perfect mixed marriage.

As usual, the Minister's Ball was the highlight of the season, Draco had to avoid Ron, Hermione tried to placate both Draco and Ron without offending Harry, who had to prevent an all out war from occurring. This year's was no different to those that had proceeded it and as usual Ron drank a little too much, Draco couldn't help but make a dig at the Weasley family finances, Harry ended up giving up trying to prevent a fight and left with Hermione at some point before the first hex flew.

They ended up sat on a luxurious chaise in an opulent anti-room. "Why is it always like this Harry?" she asked resting her head on his shoulder.

Harry gently placed a kiss on her forehead."After all this time I thought they would've grown up too. Don't worry about them, old habits and all that."

"I suppose, how're Ginny and the boys?" she asked trying to distract herslef.

"Good, Al's sick that's why she's not here., just a stomach bug nothing to worry about but she didn't want to inflict it on Molly."

"Hope he's better soon." Hermione chewed on her lower lip. "Do you think they've killed each other yet?"

Harry smiled, "Nah, it'll be like every year, they'll argue and then Ron will either storm off and drink or go home and you'll be left with the smug git." Hermione chuckled. "I've something to tell you anyway." She looked up at him expectantly. "They think Snape's alive. I was sent to raid his old house, didn't find anything though. His lab might've been used recent;y but that's it."

"I've been using it." Harry's eyes grew wide. "It's Draco's house, he inherited it. When I've needed some space I've been brewing there, it made sense."

She had no idea why she volunteered this information, but it seemed advisable to cover up for anything that Snape may have missed hiding away.

"Oh, that makes sense then. Anyway, Percy wants him found if he's alive, wants to give him the trial Kingsley never did, make sure that he deserves freedom."

"After all he did? Harry that's awful." Hermione sprang to her feet and began pacing.

"We never really did hear his side, just saw some memories and had a portrait testimony, it's not concrete enough for Percy to negate the fact that he was a Death Eater." Harry watched her carefully.

"It's not right, let the man's memory be. I can't believe you're condoning this."

"I agree, for lack of a better phrase and please pardon the expression, but it's a witch hunt." Sighing he stood and pulled her into a hug. "Should we ensure that those two imbeciles are all right?"

"You do that. I'll hex them into oblivion if I see either of them. I'm going to go and carry on some research."

Nodding Harry left her alone to use the floo.

xxx

Hermione left home as soon as she arrived, apperating quickly to Spinners End, Snape was sat in his customary chair watching the flames crackle in the grate.

"Hi," she smiled.

"I thought you would be attending the ball," he sneered drinking from a glass.

"I was, Draco and Ron are arguing, I left Harry to mediate. I always make it worse." She stood wringing her hands together before going to sit on the sofa.

"Make yourself comfortable," he belatedly invited. "So who was winning when you left?"

"Verbal sparing, Draco's insults are much more pointed. Violence..." She shrugged.

"My money will be on your husband, much calmer under pressure and less inclined to give in to temper." Hermione snorted at Snape's observation.

"Draco will only win if wands come before fists though. Severus, why is it so complicated?" She stared at him, her eyes wide and open.

"You're intelligent, curious, insatiable," she spluttered. "In your pursuit for knowledge. Loyal, even if it means your own suffering and brave. Pitting a Weasley and a Malfoy against one another was... stupid but Gryffindor bravery will cover it." His lips twitched into a near smile.

"I'm an idiot, if I'd just married Ron like I was supposed to, instead of..."

"You would have been bored, unfulfilled and nothing more than a poor imitation of Molly Weasley. You are worth more than what that life would have given you." He placed his glass down and stared at her pointedly. "Draco may not be making you happy and I may not appreciate his attitude but he has given you many things that without which you would have slipped into an inconsequential existence."

"_You_ don't appreciate his attitude?"

Snape cleared his throat and fixed her with a narrowed stare. "Yes, it has reduced you to a simpering wretch who impedes on my valuable time."

Hermione smiled at him, "I impede on your time and inconvenience you with my simpering. If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted rid of me."

"Really?! What would give you that idea?" He held his glass out to her, taking it she drank before passing it back. "Why are you here really?"

"No idea, I just didn't fancy being at home when Draco came back."

"Not in mood to soothe his wounds then?"

"No."

"Guest room's your's then." Hermione laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. Looking at him she laughed harder, especially when he raised his eyebrow questioningly. "Funny am I?"

"This situation is utterly ludicrous, if Harry or Ron saw us, I think the shock would kill them."

"May be worth a try!"

"Oh, Severus!" Controlling her giggles she looked at him, stood and then leant in towards him. "Thank you. You are a wonderful man." She then gently placed her lips to the skin of his cheek and kissed him, before turning and disappearing upstairs.

The following morning Hermione left the bedroom and found a neatly folded pile of robes sat waiting outside the door, she instantly recognised them as the spare ones she kept in case of an accident in the lab. Whatever most people thought of Severus Snape he was a gentleman who, despite not revealing it often, had a soft side. Picking the bundle up she took it to the bathroom, where she showered and changed, before descending the stairs and entering the kitchen.

On the table sat a mug, coffee and milk, bread was by the toaster with the butter dish and cereal was also on the side, a note was scribbled by the coffee.

_Help yourself, you insufferable woman. SS_

She smirked at the note, picking up on his sarcasm, before pouring a drink and making toast. She cleared away the milk and quickly tidied the kitchen, knowing he'd appreciate the gesture, before sitting down to eat. She was halfway through the first slice when the door slammed behind her; she waited for an explosion from Snape and was surprised that his acidic tone never arrived.

"I never thought it of you Hermione." She spun round at the sound of Draco's sneer.

"Draco, what..." She looked up at him questioningly.

"I'm _your husband_ Hermione, you weren't home, _again_. You're more _interested_ in Severus than your family." His lip was twisted at her, as he spat out the words.

"Interested in Severus? Yes, academically; not how you seem to be thinking." She was resisting the urge to laugh at him.

"Draco, would you be implying some sort of impropriety between your wife and I?" Snape's dark shadow loomed behind the younger man, a dangerous glimmer lurking in his eyes almost in challenge.

The blonde's mouth gaped open and he struggled to find words. Hermione filled the silence, "I believe, he thinks I spend too much time with you, researching, because that is all it is, research."

Much to her shock Snape laughed, "honestly Draco? Even with our unscrupulous ethics, I'd have thought you might believe in me a little more."

"Severus, I..."

"Draco, stop, if you need it spelling out, I have not nor would I ever touch your wife." Strangely, Hermione felt her heart sink slightly. "Would you please join me in the lab, Hermione. Draco, I'll send her home in a couple of hours."

With that she stood and followed him to the lab, leaving a stunned Draco in their wake.


	21. Chapter 21

Christmas rolled around far too quickly for Hermione's liking, trees were dressed and Artemis was becoming unbearable with excitement. Her life had become a whirlwind of parties, gatherings, work, research and family.

Since Draco's confrontation with Severus, she couldn't simply think of him as Snape any longer, her husband had made an effort. He'd offered to shop for presents, held her in an evening for no reason and had stunned her into silence when he'd bought ice cream for her as a surprise.

Severus had encouraged her to leave the practical research to him whilst she tackled the theoretical, and so she spent more time at home in an attempt not to neglect neither her son nor their project. She missed their time together and had bought him gifts for the holiday, both from the family and a small but not insignificant personal one.

Hermione had planned the holidays down to the last second and had briefed Draco on each obligation that fell from Christmas Eve through to Boxing Day, he met it with a great deal of reluctance and twice demanded that 'everyone should just go to Hell, whilst we bask in the Maldives.' As pleasant as that sounded she just couldn't bring herself to avoid the family time and traditional fun.

They spent Christmas Eve with the Grangers and her extended family, which unfortunately resulted in Draco's old prejudices surfacing and a minor (luckily inconspicuous) hex being thrown at Great Uncle Frank. Artemis loved being able to play with the range of children that were present and was praised for having such a vivid and elaborate imagination when he spoke about flying and wanting to be a Quidditch player when he was older. Hermione found the whole event to be stressful and looked forward to returning home.

XXX

Christmas Day arrived in a flurry of wrapping paper and ribbon at 5am, far too early for Draco to be anything other than sulky and meant that Hermione was left to entertain Artemis after the gift giving so that he could return to the land of nod. They swapped around 10 so that she could dress and ready herself for the pending false joviality at Malfoy Manor; Narcissa always went overboard and invited a range of people that all hid their loathing for one another.

With her hair tamed into an elegant sweeping arrangement that took more than a little bit of lavish charm work, make-up applied simply, she then clad herself in crimson dress robes that flattered her slender curved figure. Together with Draco and Artemis she prepared to floo to the Manor, as they were about to leave Draco produced a small parcel from his robes and offered it to her. Unwrapping the box she saw a velvet box that when she opened it she saw a necklace, glinting in the light, he took it from her and placed the chain around her throat. She looked down and saw that a simple diamond was resting against her skin; she gently kissed her husband and offered thanks, which was received with a small smile. They grabbed floo powder and then stepped into the flames.

Arriving at the Manor they were escorted to the library by a sullen looking house elf, Artemis took off straight away to who knows where and could be heard giggling. Hermione smiled and looked around the room, spotting Ministry officials, 'former' Death Eaters and other notable figures, ignoring most of the others she went over towards Narcissa to thank her for the gifts. She actually quite enjoyed speaking with the elder woman, who was intelligent and well read, albeit with a slant towards more shallow literature.

Lunch was called at 2pm and they were all seated at the large dining table in the shadow of a Norwegian spruce, Hermione was seated between Artemis and Draco and opposite a blonde man, who she couldn't place but looked familiar. As lunch progressed she felt isolated from conversation, women were not able to add to intelligent conversation as, according to the male purebloods, it was beyond them.

"Mrs Malfoy." Hermione's head snapped up and she looked at the familiar man. "I've heard that you were the top of year at Hogwarts, what is your opinion on the situation with the centaurs in Europe?"

Her eyes went wide at the question, "I believe that the way that the pan-European Ministry is being pig headed and ignorant, they are not addressing the centaurs plight and as a result they will..."

"Hermione!" Draco warned, she looked pointedly at him before returning her gaze to the man across the table who was watching her with interest.

"The centaurs are being ignored and have no alternative course of action but to..." Draco pounded his fist on the table, rattling the cutlery.

"Can you not keep your inane comments to yourself witch?" She looked down at her meal and made no effort to continue the discussion, which flowed quite nicely without her contributions. She ate a few mouthfuls more and then politely excused herself, slipping from the table she withdrew from the room.

Hermione found herself sat in an alcove staring out at the miserable weather outside, she missed Christmases at Hogwarts, where snow fell and despite the often impending doom she enjoyed the day and felt at peace with the world. She wanted to cry, to scream and shout but nothing would come out, she mentally rifled through her options and quickly realised how limited they were. She could run, but to where, to whom?

A hand rested gently on her shoulder, she didn't pull away nor did she look up at who was stood by her. She closed her eyes and her mind escaped and snook off into to a fantasy.

_A man placed his hand on her shoulder, merely to alert her to his presence, he said nothing and after a moment he placed a tender kiss to the exposed part of her neck. He then bit down harshly making her suck in a breath out of surprise, his tongue then laved over the now hyper sensitive area. His arms reached round and enveloped her in a warm embrace, kisses then were peppered down her throat eliciting a gentle moan from her. She turned in his arms and gazed into his eyes, pools of ink stared back at her and she opened her soul to him. Her body and heart melted as his lips fiercely crushed against hers, claiming her for his own and banishing any doubt in her mind that she could ever be with anyone else again._

"_Hermione?" the dark man in her mind questioned._

"_Hmmm?" she responded not wanting him to speak but to take her and totally claim her body and show her everything she'd been missing._

"Hermione?" he repeated and suddenly she snapped back to reality, the man in front of her was not dark, but light, disappointment rushed through her and she blinked, pasting on a smile.

"Sorry, I just wanted a moment. Can I help you?" She stood and looked at him.

"Draco is an arse," the man offered, Hemione stifled a bark of laughter. "That is an improvement, I'm sorry I put you on the spot."

"Don't worry Mr... I'm sorry I don't know your name." A smile crossed the man's face at her admission.

The man leant forward and silkily whispered, "come now Miss Granger, I thought you would recognise me anywhere."

Realisation hit her like a sledgehammer and a smile spread across her face, a scowl then crossed her features as she playfully punched him in the gut. "Severus, you... you... utter git."

He smirked and his true identity was undeniable. "So I've been told. Don't hide out here and let him get to you."

"I'm just composing myself. I'm glad you're here." She beamed at him, kissing his cheek gently she allowed him to lead her back to the dining hall and the remainder of the meal.

Xxx

AN: I apologise that this chapter is a bit bitty, but everything in it needed to be there and I hope you appreciate the intent behind the dodgy parts. Coming up New Year's eve...


	22. Chapter 22

Hermione fulfilled her obligations as the mudblood wife of a highly upstanding pureblood; she sat through the rest of the festive meal making the required noises and not expressing any opinion. Severus didn't try to draw her out into the conversation again and through his blonde mask he looked almost apologetic for causing the earlier tension between herself and Draco.

After returning to Bleak Hall, Draco grabbed his wife's arm and pulled her in towards his chest, she panicked at first and froze to his touch, he held her firmly and twisted her until she was forced to meet his eyes.

"Hermione?" his voice was soft but left no room for argument.

"Draco please, not now I need to put Artemis to bed." She tried to pull away but he held her fast.

"Now Hermione." She searched his eyes desperately to see some hint of what his next words would be. "I thought you knew what was expected of you at one of my parents' functions. You need to be seen and not heard."

As the words poured from his mouth she felt her feminist values ignite and she wanted to launch into a tirade. "Severus..."

"Definitely knows better than to have tried that. Hermione..." He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders. He reached his hand up to her face and gently ran his fingers down her cheek. "Hermione, there is etiquette to follow, I know you may not agree with it but others do, amongst them my parents. Opinions and status matter."

She closed her eyes, "I know, I didn't think," her voice was small. "Sorry Draco, I'll apologise to your parents in the morning."

His grip relaxed and she was able to slip away.

Days passed devoid of any emotion for Hermione, she couldn't get excited by Harry or Ron's visits nor could she feel anything more than a warmth at her son's antics with his new toys. Despite all her protests she was dragged off into Manchester by Ginny who was in need of escape from her sons and husband.

They wandered through the masses that had flooded the city centre, pouring in and out of the Arndale, Hermione was determined to enjoy herself and find a perfect dress for the New Year's Eve ball that Narcissa was holding in aid of war victims and their families. Opting for muggle dress was a statement that Hermione was determined to make, she wanted to distance herself from the pureblood culture that had caused the fanatical devastation and highlight her heritage. She also wanted to wow Severus (though she still wasn't sure exactly why her feelings had changed for him) in a way that formal robes just wouldn't offer. She dragged Ginny in the direction of Harvey Nichols and Selfridges, intentionally avoiding Affleck's Palace, the heart of the cities wizarding quarter, that bizarely was able to negate the laws surrounding muggle interactions.

Walking through the doors of Selfridges and feeling the warmth that pummelled her from the heaters, she sucked in a deep breath and readied herself for battle, she passed the handbag section and the women used the escalators to rise through the building towards the clothing. Minutes in this artificially lit Hell seemed like hours, but shopping was a pastime Ginny loved and soon she was left to wander the rails alone.

Eventually, Hermione found a dress lurking in a dark corner of a rack that instantly jumped out at her, it was so far removed from anything she'd normally dream of wearing but it called to her and, she hoped, would call to at least one man in the room. Pulling the hanger out and holding the garment up she grinned, there was no way Ginny would let her buy such a thing, so she stashed it back in it's hiding place until she found something more suitable to pass the Ginny Potter test. She walked to another rail, casting glances back towards the perfect dress to check it was still there. Sifting through the dresses she didn't see any that even required more than a first look.

"Found anything?" The red head had sidled up to her and was clutching an armful of gowns in an array of colours and fabrics.

"Nothing of any interest," she stated. "But I lack your eye Gin."

"Well I hope you don't mind but I did grab something for you." She tried to rummage in the pile but when it all threatened to collapse she gave up with a shrug. "It's here somewhere, come with me to try them on and I'll find it." Nodding wearily she cast a final look at the perfect dress and then headed towards the changing rooms.

Ginny had found her a dress that under normal circumstances would have been ideal, but this year was different, she was different. The beautiful silver satin cowl necked dress, decorated with diamantes, was perfect for appearances but it just wasn't right. Ginny had, of course, fawned over how wonderful she looked in it and gave her the perfect excuse to slink away under the guise of finding shoes. Hermione rushed to rescue the other dress and without even a thought to trying it on she headed to the desk to pay for both gowns. Under her instruction, Draco held a joint muggle bank account and she used her card to pay, the cost for one dress was enough to feed a family for a week. She knew however, he wouldn't bat an eyelid at the cost, largely due to his ignorance of exchange rates but he really had no appreciation of money. The assistant packed the dresses carefully with tissue and cooed about how gorgeous the dresses were and how wonderful it must be to go to a ball for New Year, smiling politely Hermione slunk away towards the shoes.

The redhead bounced over to her as she was examining a pair of Jimmy Choo sandals that for the life in her she couldn't work out how to walk in. "Ooh, Mione, they'd look perfect."

"What, with or without the cast I'll be wearing if I try to walk in them?" Hermione was taken back by the caustic tone her voice had taken. 'Too much time around Severus, I think.'

"Well, you can't very well wear pumps with that dress." Hermione replaced the designer footwear back on the shelf and picked up a pair of Louboutin shoes and, whilst high, offered a platform that would aid her wobbling; they were adorned with small spikes that looked threatening and yet seductive. "Draco been a bad boy?"

"Euch, Ginny."

"I can't help it if those make me wonder if you've got some sort of dominatrix hidden beneath those stuffy robes of yours. Course I'm more of a submissive, I just love it when..."

"Stop right there Ginevera, I may not be on speaking terms with most of your family but I need to be able to look your husband in the eye."

A smirk crossed Ginny's face, Hermione looked at her challengingly. "Nothing, just imagining what Draco would be like when wielding a whip."

Growling Hermione snatched the shoes and dashed to pay for them before her companion could make another lewd remark.

Hermione shook off all Ginny's offers of helping her to get ready, as she had decided that the black dress was ideal she didn't want anyone to persuade her out of wearing it and so took the time to prepare alone.

Draco braved his in laws in order to leave Artemis with them for the evening and then headed to his own parents to help them ensure that the party would be perfect. He wouldn't see her until she made her grand entrance either.

She showered in the magically scent infused water, washing her hair carefully, she spelled her skin hair free and then dried herself before slowly and sensuously coating herself with scented lotion and dusting with a fine glitter. Her hair was charmed into a chignon, with tendrils that curled to frame her face, she applied make up more liberally than usual, giving her eyes a smoky effect and painting her lips with a splash of vivid red.

She stood naked for a short time in front of her dress contemplating her underwear options, she was tempted to wear red to complement her lipstick choice but in a moment of bravery decided to forgo anything so as not to ruin the line of the dress and to add an erotic secret that only she'd know, unless someone went investigating. She grabbed the box that held the studded shoes and carefully pulled them onto her feet, the silk was then slipped on and arranged so that it fitted her form perfectly. Holding her lower lip between her teeth she took in her image, she then smiled wickedly and left the house with an almost silent pop.

AN – I am very torn at this point as to how adult to make this story, not that I am implying anything will happen. I know 's rules and don't want to breech them, I am contemplating writing this as adult as I wish and posting it elsewhere (recommendations please) before editing it down as much as I can to conform and then posting here. Please review, I appreciate each one and let me know your thoughts. Thanks


	23. Chapter 23

For AutumnSun whose reviews and encouragement have motivated me to get on with this story.

There was a sharp crack as Hermione appeared in the hallway at the Malfoy ancestral home, she stood for a moment and smoothed out her dress, apperating didn't cause one's clothes to wrinkle but it allowed her to take in the other guests. Two men were stood gawping at her, she rolled her eyes and then set off to find the main party and make her grand entrance. As she sashayed past her admirers a hand snaked out and grabbed her arm, spinning her to look straight into the faces of the men.

"Look a mudblood, trying to fit in, failing of course."

"Get off me Greg," she snarled staring at her former school enemy and one of her husband's long term friends.

"Has Draco seen you dressed like that Granger?" Goyle sneered back, his eyes skimming over her body.

"It's Malfoy you parasite. And no he hasn't seen me since earlier this afternoon, why?" Her eyes flashed with the unspoken challenge of taking on the Muggleborn witch that had changed one of the most pureblooded wizarding families in England.

Leering the other man looked over her body, almost stripping her naked with a look. "I'm sure he'll love seeing his wife dressed as..." Hermione's arm moved quickly and she struck him clean across the face.

"You'd know all about whores wouldn't you Blaise? Your mother is a prime example." She walked away leaving the Slytherin's in shock and then she turned back. "Never, never make an insinuation about me, my family, my heritage or my appearance or you'll regret ever meeting me."

Hermione turned on her heel and composed herself as she walked, her stalking becoming gliding as she got closer to the ballroom.

The room was buzzing as she entered, the house elf announcing her arrival as was customary, eyes turned to look at the youngest Mrs Malfoy and surprise crossed each individual's features. Her skin glittered and her eyes glowed, she skimmed her gaze across the crowd and saw her prey together, formerly in conversation gaping at her. Her eyes continued across the room and she saw a proud smirk on the face of Ginny, a look of shock on that of Harry and her former fiancé, Ron, looked as if he'd been hit by a truck.

The dress moved beautifully as she approached her husband and his 'deceased' godfather, the black satin silk swayed with each movement, the split, cut to mid thigh revealed her legs as she walked, the boned bodice hugged her curves and accentuated the cleavage that the deep v offered. Between the shoes and her rouged lips she emitted a look but don't touch aura and her smile was not warm but predatorial, though for which man she was unsure. Both looked dashing, one in a deep emerald and the other in his customary black, both with blond hair, one with onyx and the other with blue, both sparkling, both for different reasons.

"Intriguing entrance, Madam." Severus smirked, only to be elbowed sharply by Draco.

Hermione smiled, "Why thank you sir." She smirked back and felt eyes on her from others in the room. "Good evening Draco." She leant in to kiss him but he turned his cheek away, then grasped her elbow and lead her away to an anteroom.

Shutting the door he rounded on her. "How could you?"

"How could I what?" she fired back, watching him pace and run his hands through his hair.

"That... That!" He pointed at the door, "was embarrassing."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "For whom? And why?"

"You are dressed like some sluttish escort."

"Hardly Draco," she smiled. "Come to think of it how you know what an escort dresses like?"

"I... I.. That's not the point Hermione. You are here as a guest of my parents."

"A guest?" She threw her arms down, anger taking a firm hold. "Surely after 4 years of marriage to their only child and providing them with an heir that I'm family not merely a guest."

"Standards Hermione..."

"That's what it comes down to, appearances and maintaining a fucking façade!" she screamed. "Half of the men in that room right now would love to be seen with me on their arm, most of them will be thinking a range of lascivious thoughts about me and will be convinced that you would be fulfilling them in here now."

"Exactly, you're dressed like a fucking whore." Her anger boiled as she whipped her hand across his face, tears shone in her eyes as she stared at him.

"If you paid me half as much attention as you do in keeping up some ridiculous antiquated notion of propriety and status then maybe I wouldn't be dressing with the sole view of getting your attention." The tears threatened to spill over as she looked at him.

"Yeah, this is the perfect place to get my attention dressed like that isn't it? You have no fucking clue what is going on in the real world, this isn't Hogwarts where Harry Bloody Potter can come and save the world, stop being such a little girl and grow up." His words stung worse than if he'd hit her.

"Thank you for telling me what I mean to you..." The tears began to fall silently as she headed towards the door.

"Hermione..." His voice had softened and she hesitated, her hand poised over the door handle.

"Save it, I'll be leaving now, before I'm any more of an embarrassment. Happy new year Draco." With that she wandlessly dried her tears and exited back to the ballroom.

She walked with her head held high and a false smile playing on her lips towards the main door, her mind was in a turmoil as she felt someone approaching her, she caught a glimpse of blond hair and black clothing and ignored everything but her escape route. It was a relief when she felt a hand in the small of her back guide her out of the room and away towards the gardens. The cold December air made her gasp as it wrapped around her bare skin, wordlessly a warm jacket was placed on her shoulders, they stopped as the reached the edge of formal gardens and sat down on a bench. Nothing was said between the two as they stared out at the winter decimated flower beds.

After sitting for several long drawn out minutes, she drew her wand and transfigured her dress to remove the slit and raise the neckline, she also altered her shoes into plain black pumps. He watched her actions and the results before raising his eyebrow inquisitively.

"What did you do that for?" he asked simply.

She bit back a laugh and began sobbing."Why do you think?"

His arm snaked around her shoulders, "not your usual attire, nor is it traditional dress. You certainly caused a stir in there."

"That was supposed to be the point," she snapped. "Sorry, I'm not mad at you. I'm such a fucking idiot. Was it that horrible?"

"Depends on your definition of horrible." He removed his arm and looked at her face for the first time since leaving the party. "Tell me, what was your aim tonight?"

"It's embarrassing," she paused and looked back at him. Taking in his appearance, his clothes were right, his eyes so familiar but different from those she truly remembered however the rest was totally alien and very wrong. She looked back at the spindles of trees, listening to him breathe.

"I believe that I seen you in many situations worse than this one, several with your husband involved in some way." Her eyebrow raised at him speculatively. "Don't do that."

"Enlighten me then, when have I been more embarrassed? Though I doubt I want reminding."

"You ignited my cloak in your first year whilst I was attempting to preserve Potter's life. You stole from my stockroom and then tried to turn yourself into a cat using polyjuice potion your... second year. Your husband hexed you, 'densaugeo' I believe, your.. third year?"

"Fourth," she corrected softly.

"I believe that I was an exceptional bastard over that incident," he added gently, she laughed through her tears.

"I looked like a bloody beaver and you.. you told me I... I looked no different. I'd always admired you and respected you, until you said that. I..." He took her chin and made her look at him.

"As I said, I was a total bastard and you deserved better." She smiled and knew it was the closest thing to an apology he'd give.

"It worked out for the best though, Madam Pomfrey improved them. I suppose I owe you and Draco for that." She narrowed her eyes and pushed a loose lock of blonde behind his ear. "Can I please talk to you, not some approximation, it's hard looking at you and hearing you, the two don't blend well."

"You prefer the sallow, greasy, old bat?" he asked disparagingly.

"I prefer you as you and I never called you that. Please?" Her eyes were filled with pain and hope, something he couldn't ignore.

"Let's find somewhere private and I'll revert to form." He stood and extended his hand to her, taking it she joined him and allowed him to lead her further into the more secluded areas of the grounds. Noises from the party were quieter now and sounds were less recognisable, Hermione remembered this to be a potions garden, she was not surprised to find that Severus knew of it's existence. They found another bench, she sat and looked up at him as he removed the glamours that hid his identity. She smiled at his return to normal.

"That's better, this Severus Snape is the one I want to deal with." She grinned.

"Really, Miss Granger?" He folded his arms across his chest. "Are you going to therefore, enlighten me as to why you find this more aesthetically pleasing?"

Biting her lip to hide a giggle at his return to the sardonic professor. "Not so much as an aesthetic improvement, rather a familiarity and a confidence in what to expect."

"Ah, so if I look like like you expect I'll behave as you expect." A smirk played on his lips.

"You know what I mean, there's no pretence, it's just you and I."

"You still haven't answered my initial question." He sat next to her and watched her chew on her lip.

"My aim?" Hermione looked at him and he nodded once, she turned back to look at the plants. "I wanted him to look at me and think I was stunning, I wanted every man in that room to want me and for him to know that I was his alone. I wanted him to notice me as a sexual person. I just... I'm an idiot, or as he told me a sluttish whore."

He laughed at her and she whipped her head to glare at him. "He's the bloody idiot, you did it for him. He is probably fielding questions as to why you've left when he could have you dangling off his arm with every man in the room wishing he was with you. What the Hell was he thinking?" His hand reached out and he tenderly caressed her cheek. "Let me see you as you intended to appear."

Standing she reconfigured the dress back to it's original state and magicked her shoes back to their high heeled, studded glory. She stood and turned for him to see the whole effect. "Smile Hermione, that would make the ensemble perfect." She obeyed, smiling shyly at him. "If you dressed like that at a party whilst with me, I'd not let you out of my sight until..." He smiled back at her and time seemed to stop.


	24. Chapter 24

AN: Sorry for the slightly evil cliffhanger, I hope you enjoy the second half. I love all my readers and want to make you happy, so please review and make me happy :)

"_If you dressed like that at a party whilst with me, I'd not let you out of my sight until..." He smiled back at her and time seemed to stop._

Hermione lowered her eyes demurely, desperately hoping he'd finish that sentence as she wished it to end. She shrugged off his jacket to allow him to see her properly and twirled on the spot.

"You look stunning Mrs Malfoy and whilst your husband may not appreciate it right now, I, and the male population of the ballroom, do. I do believe that you have yet to dance this evening and, if I may, I'd like to request the honour."

"There's no music, Severus." She laughed, whilst positioning herself within his arms. He waved his hand and the music from party was amplified enough to allow them to hear the beat and move in perfect rhythm. He held her close as they became embroiled in the intimate act of dancing, she felt safe, secure and wanted within his grasp and the fight with Draco faded into the background.

She watched him as his eyes closed; focusing on nothing but the sensations of sound and touch, her head rested lightly on his chest hearing his heart beat and feeling the warmth of his lean figure against her. His head bent down and he pressed his lips to her hair, kissing her gently in a gesture that she could interpret a thousand ways. She chose the one that matched her own emotions, it was an act of love.

"She's not at home and she hasn't gone to her parents..." the voice of Harry Potter sprang the couple apart faster than she thought would have been possible and froze.

"When I find out what the Platinum Prat has done to upset her I'll bloody well tear him limb from limb, then I'll..."

"You'll what Ron? Tell her 'I told you so'? Rant and rave at her saying she should have married you?" Silence fell for a moment. "Her reasons for not marrying you were the right ones, stop bloody well dragging it up and holding it over her. If she had've married you, you'd be ready to murder each other by now."

"But Malfoy?" the other man questioned.

"We may not understand it, but let's face it, they're right together. The only other person who I can think of that might have been better with her is..."

"DON'T SAY IT! Not him, he's dead, thank all the Gods. Malfoy I can deal with but not him..."

"Just shut up Ron, it doesn't look like she's out here, maybe Narcissa can tell us where that Uncle lives so that we can check there..." The voices receded and once again Hermione and Severus were alone.

Hermione stared up at him but knew that the moment was lost. Lost but not forgotten.

"It seems that your friends are looking for you, you should go." She looked back at where her friends had gone, then turned back to him.

"What about you?" She half smiled, not wanting him to dismiss her.

Using his wand he reapplied his glamours and returned to the blonde. "I need to go back inside, I think I need to discuss something with your husband." He began to walk away, leaving her alone.

"No, please Severus. Don't..." She wanted to beg him to stay with her, but the words wouldn't come out once he turned back to her. "Don't talk to him about this, please." She sighed and transfigured her dress once more into the demure outfit.

"What are you doing?" He asked looking genuinely confused.

"I'm going back in to the party, it's not midnight yet and I wouldn't be a very good Gryffindor if I didn't face my problems head on."

"You wouldn't be a Gryffindor if you didn't decide to ignore your husband and went back in there dressed exactly as before, he's a Slytherin and we fight for what is ours, he's letting our history down. Make him fight Hermione." A laugh exploded from her as she allowed him to once again revert her dress to it's original form and then she caught up to him and let him lead her back inside.

Draco made eye contact with Severus almost as soon as they re-entered the ballroom. She was smiling as he ignored her husband's vague intimidation attempt and took her over to the dance floor, whisking her into a waltz. He made her giggle as he spun her around, rendering her utterly oblivious to anyone watching.

As the music stopped she was escorted to Draco's side, he was silently fuming as Severus leant in and whispered something into his ear. Her husband then took her hand and led her back to the floor, the music had slowed and they swayed gently to the pace.

"You should have changed," he snarled into her ear.

"No, I'm happy like this. I look good even you don't see it," she growled softly back.

He dipped her backwards and leant in as if to kiss her, "I meant what I said, no matter what Severus thinks. We'll talk later."

Biting her tongue she concluded the dance and was then startled by her ex-fiancé who commandeered her for the next dance and was followed by her dark haired best friend, both of whom interrogated her about her whereabouts, but were satisfied that she had just been calming herself and recollecting her thoughts.

She danced with so many people that the evening became a blur and as midnight came around she found herself more and more isolated from her husband, his glares became sharper and more deadly. As the party were ushered outside to view the fireworks, she found her arm in a vice like grip. Turning to hex the person who had grabbed her she met his icy eyes, icy in more ways than one.

"Come with me." He pulled at her and dragged her towards the same anteroom as before, she went silently. He took her inside and wordlessly closed the door.

She looked around and after sliding into a leather wing back chair, she waited.

"You have humiliated me tonight, Hermione. You will sit and listen." Her eyes narrowed, glowering at his back. "You have made a total spectacle of yourself and have embarrassed not just us but my parents. I made a lot of sacrifices to marry you and this is how you repay me." With that she stood and without hesitating she left the room determined to find Severus.

Crossing the ballroom, she heard Draco's angry footsteps behind her and without a glance back she used her wand sending a stinging hex his way. Severus was leaning against the door frame watching her approach rather than staring blankly at the colourful explosions outside. She then reconsidered her destination and turned and left the party.

She couldn't fail to hear the cross words between Severus and Draco as she walked down the hallway, she slowed to a stop to listen but her own thoughts drowned out any other sound. She really couldn't understand why one was being so cold to her and why the other was willing to defend her but not touch her as she needed to be touched. Suddenly Draco came storming past her retreating up the staircase, Severus hot on his heels, she reached out and stopped the older man, looking up, her husband had gone.

"Sev," it was the first time she'd ever abbreviated his name and he looked at her with a fire in his eyes she'd never seen before. "He hates me and I'm not sure I care." As she had done earlier she pushed a blonde lock behind his ear and then rested her hand against his cheek. "Make me feel Sev." With that she leant up and met his lips with her own, initially they stayed chaste and then with an explosion of passion their kiss ignited, her mouth opened and let his tongue in. They explored each others mouths ferociously, teeth clashing, hands explored each others bodies and when they finally came up for air they stood stunned, chests heaving. She blinked rapidly and stared up at him, licking her swollen lips, smiling.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I'm not worth suing.

Thanks to AutumnsSun for her work as a beta on this chapter :)

Hermione stared into Severus's black eyes, and that was when it hit her. She'd kissed Severus. She'd kissed Severus Snape. She'd just kissed her former professor. One final thought hit her, it hit her hard. She'd kissed a man that was not her husband. Her mind became a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts; she'd liked the kiss, it meant more than any of the exchanges she'd shared with her husband in the last few years, but it was wrong.

Temping down her emotions as best as she could she bade him goodnight and left, her heels clicking on the floor as she walked away from him. She looked back before she apperated, and saw that he was still standing exactly as she had left him. With a crack she was gone.

The following morning, Hermione staggered out of her room. Draco had not returned home, and that left her with a hollow in her stomach that gnawed away. She'd not slept, her mind had gone into overdrive and was running through scenario after scenario: Why hadn't Draco come home? Why had she kissed Severus? Why did he kiss her back? Did Draco see them? Did Severus go and admit what had happened? Did Harry or Ron see them and accost the blonde uncle? There were so many and very few had a happy ending linked with them.

Hermione retreated to the library in the hope that some light reading would distract the demons that were attacking her heart and mind. She discarded book after book, unable to locate anything that offered her peace. So, she took a pad and pen and began to write down her thoughts and emotions, knowing full well that she'd destroy them as soon as she was done.

It was almost lunch when her thoughts were disrupted by heavy footsteps, instantly she used her wand to incinerate her notes and then snapped her eyes up to see who had arrived. Severus, once again looking his usual self and as irritated as ever, strode towards her and slammed a vile down on the table.

"Do you know what _that _is?" he snarled. She looked questioningly at him, before turning her attention to the liquid inside the container.

"I imagine that it's the poison we've been working on." Her eyes flicked back up to meet his.

"Yes, the _poison_ that you were _kindly_ asked to examine by the Minister." Irritation and anger radiated from him as he loomed over her chair. "Is no more than your **birth control**. I've spent hour after hour researching your **bloody **_**contraceptive**_ choices."

"Severus I..."

"What? You thought it would be funny to get me running in circles trying to find out the composition of a **fucking contraceptive.**" He backed away from her, running his hands through his hair. She picked up the ampule and looked at the liquid more closely. "How could you Hermione?"

His voice had softened but she could hear the anger tinged with hurt. Standing, she watched him closely. "Severus, I promise you, this isn't mine. Look at me. Use Legimens if you must." He turned to face her, their eyes meeting for the first time. "Severus, it can't be mine. I haven't used any protection like that since Artemis was born."

He tutted and rolled his eyes, mumbling something under his breath.

"Honestly Severus, after all I've told you about my relationship with Draco. Do you honestly think I'd need to bother?"

His hands went back to his hair and his eyes closed. "But... how?"

"We've said all along there's more going on here than meets the eye. This is just another piece of the puzzle." Removing the cork she sniffed the liquid. "It's not even a complex variant is it?"

"Hermione, do you honestly believe that there is some conspiracy going on here?" He slumped into a chair and looked at her, his eyes betraying a weariness.

"Look at the situation objectively. I was approached by some unknown auror and given this project, it came directly from the Minister, and is rather out of my usual remit. I was sworn to secrecy, from everyone, Harry included. The potion I was offered turned up nothing more than a few stabilising ingredients..."

"That we identified," he interrupted.

"Yes, that we had managed to identify before it was destroyed. My research on the supposed magic stripping properties turned up nothing. The press had nothing on anyone, let alone whole communities, losing magic. This whole debacle has brought me straight to you. You, who has been presumed dead for..."

"I'm aware of my status of being amongst the deceased."

"My point being, _Professor_, that nothing makes sense. I think that we, or rather I, have been specifically led up the garden path. Though for what reason I am unsure and this last incident proves it."

"You're saying that the Minister wants to keep you busy, and away from something of greater import."

"Either that, or they wanted... Severus, Percy said something when I met with him."

"I'm sure he said a lot of rather useless things." Severus muttered. Hermione took hold of his hand and looked hard at the man in front of her.

"No, he mentioned you. In fact, for someone who is dead, you are coming up quite frequently in my conversations." Panic and concern crossed her face. "You must hide Sev, you must. They know!"


	26. Chapter 26

AN: I'm soooooo sorry this has taken forever to upload. Life has been very crazy and I've had a lot of ups and down, I really really hope you are not disappointed. Thanks to AutumnsSun for the beta work and the cajoling along. I will really try to be much more prompt with new chapters.

"_You must hide Sev, you must. They know!" _Hermione's voice was filled with panic and concern.

"What are you going on about?" His face was contorted into a typically Snape-ish scowl.

"Harry has spoken of you recently, the Minister was quite clear on my having involvement with you. Your home has been raided by aurors, and you haven't exactly conducted yourself as a recluse these last few weeks."

"I am not a criminal, merely dead."

"Exactly, so why has the Godforsaken Ministry suddenly developed an interest in you?" She stared hard at him once more and squeezed his hand. "You have committed a range of crimes..."

"I am NOT a criminal." He shook her off, and standing he glowered down at her.

"I never said you were. I said you committed crimes, and don't you dare deny it to me." His eyes remained hard as he stared at her. "Most Death Eaters got away without punishment, they either died or were able to negotiate their freedom. Very few stood trial, and you..." She stood and ran her hand down his cheek. His eyes closed as he awaited her next words. "Regardless of circumstance, you committed the worst crime of all."

In one solitary word he expressed more emotion than she had ever heard from the man in their entire relationship."Dumbledore." He turned his back to her quickly, but not before revealing an expression of guilt and desperation.

"It may well have happened an age ago, under horrific conditions, but you killed him. Regardless of any caveat he may have put you under it is still murder, manslaughter at best. If you are alive, you need to stand trial, they'll also need to look at everything you needed to do as a spy. I'm sorry Severus." Hermione stood and edged towards him. "I know..."

"You know nothing!" he roared, spinning to face her. His eyes were blazing with fury. "I told you that despite your romantic notions of who I am. I am a killer, a murderer! I took Albus's life."

"You had no..." she began to interrupt.

He laughed, a harsh bark that made her recoil in fear."No choice? Everyone has a choice! I made choices, I chose to condemn Dumbledore to death. I deserve to be hunted."

"NO!" At Hermione's fierce contradiction his eyes narrowed. "You have chosen to define yourself by a pathetic mistake you made as a teenager."She grabbed his arm and viciously pulled back his sleeve. "THIS! THIS FUCKING MARK DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE! Severus, you are more than this."

"I am not," his voice held an almost childlike petulant tone. She reached up and smoothed down his hair, looking into his eyes tenderly.

"Severus Snape, you are a wonderful wizard." She ran her hand gently over the tattoo and the scar below it, her eyes following the movement. "This mark is evidence of your devotion to a woman who betrayed you. I'm sure you did some horrid, horrific... Draco told me early on some of what went on. I'm convinced that anything you did was to protect others, even when you thought you were doing it to progress through the ranks."

"Did Draco tell you how I became his Godfather?" his voice was hoarse. Her eyes snapped up to his. She saw that he was watching her hand closely.

"No, I guessed it was that you were friends with Lucius or Narcissa at school." She stopped tracing the mark and held his hand. His eyes shot up to meet hers, then closed. He returned to slump back in the chair, her hand closed in his.

"Lucius was a prefect when I started at Hogwarts. Black was almost right when he said I knew a lot of dark magic when I was a first year. I learnt some before school from books, but mostly I learnt from his relatives or Lucius. I spent as much time as I could away from my family, rather my father. As I'm sure Potter has told you, I didn't have the best relationship with him."

"Harry hasn't said anything, not beyond what was put out there when he got you cleared."

"Hmph. Lucius began slowly turning me to pureblood ideals. He recruited me to the Death Eaters, I was initiated the day I turned 17, in the Forbidden Forest. It was at my own request, I was an asset, one of several servants within Dumbledore's hallowed halls. I also happened to be showing great aptitude at potions, amongst other subjects. Long story short, once I left Hogwarts I rose through the Dark Lord's ranks quickly. Mid 1980 I heard Trelawney's prophesy, ran back to report, and became highly popular, for the first time in my life. Lucius decided to try to secure Draco influence by having me affiliated with him. "

"But... He had the Lestranges as aunt and uncle, both parents..."

"An extra, high ranking, inner-circle member would still add to his advantage. Draco was never going to have the option of not taking the mark. I was Death Eater number 1 when Draco was born, influence is everything to a Slytherin, never mind that it comes in the form of a half blood."

"You're doing it again." His eyes met hers and betrayed his confusion. "You're talking yourself down. You had, have, more to offer than you think. Sev, move on. You are a good man. Now, where can we hide you."

"If I'm what you say I am, I'm going to sound like a bloody Gryffindor here, but I'm going to face them." He grinned at her wickedly.

She smiled back sadly. "Please Sev. Say you're joking. They've gone to this much effort to try to flush you out, you'll..."

He leant in towards her, placed his hand on her knee, and his onyx eyes bored deep in to her soul, "If they want me, they'll get me. On my terms."

With that she closed the distance between them, her tongue slipped out and licked her lips. She waited a moment, stealing her nerve she pressed her lips to his. He pulled away and looked at her hard. She felt the tears build and the impending rejection.

"Hermione," he began.

"No, don't. If you need my help I'll do what I can." She smiled tightly. "It's my fault you're in this mess."

Leaving Severus sat in the chair, his body still leaning forward, she stood and, with as much decorum as possible, retreated to the kitchen.

xxx

Footsteps echoed behind her as she made tea. "I'm sorry," she said simply. Two arms encircled her body, pulling her in close. She inhaled deeply, recognising the scent of cedar and bergamot. Draco.

"You know, for an intelligent witch, you can be incredibly thick sometimes" he drawled into her hair.

Sighing she twisted within his hug and faced him. "I was being myself. Expressing who _I _am, not preserving some antiquated notion of propriety and pureblood superiority."

"I don't want to fight..."

"Nor do I. If you wanted a trophy Muggle-born witch, you chose the wrong one." Her eyes shone as they met with his grey blue orbs. "I thought you accepted me for who I am, not who I could make you." She pulled herself away from him, and began to walk away.

"Please, if only you understood. There's so much going on here, and only so much I can save you from."

Spinning on her heel, she faced him. "What's going on? All I can see is a pompous pureblood concerned with appearances rather than the happiness of his wife."

"I can't say." For the first time he looked ashamed and stared firmly at a spot by her feet. "Just trust me."

"I do. I'm just not sure how much..." With that final sentiment she walked back to the library where Severus was nowhere to be seen.


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks, as always, go to my wonderful beta AutumnsSun who spots my mistakes, and with whom this would probably not make much sense. Needless to say I don't own the Harry Potter universe, JKR, Bloomsbury, Warner Bros, etc have all the rights to it, however the story is mine.

Despite the regeneration, this area of Manchester was not the most welcoming at ten o'clock at night, but Hermione was reassured that it was a largely Muggle population and with her wand she'd be able to fight off any problems. She chose the property she needed to visit with care, approaching slowly she could see lights on in the downstairs window. Steeling herself for an argument she walked towards the door and raised her hand; before she had chance to rap on the wood it had been flung open and a seething woman flew out barrelling into her.

"So, is this the bitch?" Fire almost seemed to burn in her eyes as she stared down at Hermione, who looked back into the house at Severus.

"Just go," he snarled, ignoring Hermione's presence entirely.

The woman reached back and slapped her soundly across the face; she squeaked in shock and then narrowed her eyes. "I believe he told you to leave."

"Fine, you'll get yours Snape." Hermione suppressed a smirk as he rolled his eyes; she pushed past her and entered the house slamming the door behind her.

"Care to enlighten me?" she asked slumping into a chair.

Responding, he shrugged. "We broke up. Why in God's name are _you_ here?"

"I... Severus, I was worried about you. I want..." His face had contorted into one so familiar from her school days, his lip curled and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't make it sound as if you truly care, Mrs Malfoy," he snarled, his eyes glinting menacingly.

"I believe that tone to be entirely unnecessary!" Severus snorted in response. "Of course I care, haven't you paid attention to the last few months?"

Hermione stared back at him willing him to say something, hoping that he would put their strange relationship, if it could be called that, into words.

"You merely discovered my existence, and then used me for my talents." It was her turn to snort at him.

"Is this a pity party for one, or will you permit me to join?" He glowered but she rolled her eyes and summoned the firewhiskey and glasses. "So why is Severus Snape, total bastard, back for the evening? Is it temporary or a permanent regression?"

"I..." He grabbed the bottle and poured them each a large glass before taking a long drink. "Hermione, if the Ministry has put as much effort into trying to get their hands on me as you suggest then my future most definitely has a very significant kiss in it."

She blushed at his mention of kissing; the kiss she had shared with him was still burnt into her memory. "You were so determined to do everything on your terms the last time we spoke. I just wanted to discover what that entailed; especially as aiding a wanted criminal is likely to land me in front of the Wizengamot as well."

"So that is the only reason?" His eyes glinted with a mischievous glint that looked very much out of place when compared to his glowering appearance.

"I..." She blushed and downed her drink, her eyes looking anywhere but at his face. "Yes, that is the only reason. This is my fault."

"Ah, guilt! A miraculous emotion, designed to make you give a damn about someone you wouldn't normally give a fuck about in the name of self interest."

"Severus, please. I'm here for you. I really do care."

"Like you did when you set fire to me, or maybe when you stunned me?" His eyes flashed with an old burning anger. Biting her lip she stood, remembering his previous rejection after she last tried to kiss him.

"Don't worry yourself, I'll go." She walked away, as she reached out to take hold of the door handle she hesitated. "I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience that ruined your perfect death."

She didn't notice him rising until he was stood right by her, his body positioned perfectly to stop her from opening the door.

When he spoke his voice was low, "infiltrated, changed, altered maybe but ruined, no. What you have done is dragged me back into a world I tried to ignore. Lucius had tried, as had Draco but it was you who managed it." His face was obscured by his hair and Hermione desperately wished she could look into his eyes.

"What..." He stopped her from finishing her question by planting his mouth firmly over hers. The pressure seemed intense at first but as his tongue slid gently over her lips she acquiesced and submitted to his kiss. His arms wrapped around her and drew her closer, whilst her hands slipped into his hair. Her body arched into his, desperately seeking to remove any gap between them. Their tongues met in a battle that neither one was willing to lose. He pushed against her, and her body smacked into the door, his hands skimmed over her body, barely touching but sending fire across her flesh. He drew the kiss to a close, leaving her flushed, panting and wanting more.

"Is this what you want Hermione?" he asked looking down at her, his eyes narrowed.

"I..." Her lower lip trembled as she battled an internal war of lust versus her conscious.

"Do you want to risk everything you know and believe in for this? Could you sacrifice your job, friends, family for, potentially, just this one night?" His eyes were utterly unreadable and she was desperate for an indication from him as to what he wanted.

"Severus, I... I..." She worried her lip between her teeth and stared at the floor. "I do... but..."

"As long as there is that 'but' in any agreement to _this._" He gestured between the two of them. "Then **nothing** will happen."

"I..." She inhaled deeply and then looked him straight in the eyes. "My life is a mess. Yours is just about to get complicated. I've become very, umm, drawn to you."

She reached up and caressed his cheek, enjoying the feel of his skin. He stepped away from the door. "Goodbye Hermione."

"Don't do anything stupid. Take care." With that she left the house and walked away.

The pile of papers that Hermione had precariously balance on the edge of her desk ruffled as the door flew open. She barely noticed the interruption as her eyes scanned over one of several legal documents that related to assisted suicide in the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

"You are not going to believe who has just strolled in to the atrium." Ben Montegue gasped, sounding like he had just dashed directly from the entrance himself. Hermione flicked her eyes up to him and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Only Severus Bloody Snape! He..."

Hermione tuned out the rest of the diatribe and could only hear the sound of blood pounding in her ears. He'd done it. He'd ignored everything she had said. Her eyes glanced at the calendar on the wall, Jan 9th. Nice bit of irony to turn yourself in on your birthday Severus.

"He's already been hauled in to face the aurors. This is wicked!" The man ignored her total lack of participation in discourse and zoomed off to continue his gossip trail.

Grabbing her bag and cloak she ran from the room determined to see what mess he had landed himself in. Whilst riding in the lift she allowed her mind to run through their final conversation.

Suddenly, the lift jerked to a halt . She slowly stepped out and was faced with a scene of anarchy. Harry was shouting at the top of his voice demanding to know what was going on and then coming up with some sort of plan.

"Right," her best friend's voice commanded attention. "Potts, White you go down to the atrium and block off any attempts by reporters to try to get access. Smith, you get down to the holding area and watch **him**. I want files and everything we have on him on my desk, and that includes the testimonies from his previous two trials."

Hermione edged closer to the head auror. "Harry." She put her hand gently on his arm. He snapped his head down to look first at her hand and then up at her face. "Is it true?"

"Snape is in holding. He's **alive **Hermione. **Alive!**" She barked out a brief harsh laugh. "I know you'll want to see him but..."

"I know. Why was he arrested though?" Her eyes searched his face hoping to get a simple answer, even though her heart knew it wouldn't come.

"He was never tried. Percy wants him. A million other reasons." He half smiled at her. "You need to go to holding too; I was just about to send an auror for you. Draco and his parents should already be there."

He gestured to a man, who took her wand from her and led her silently away, shocked beyond comprehension.

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